LET ME RANT AND RAVE FOR A MOMENT HERE

I have to remind myself from time to time that this is MY blog.

This is a place where I can rant and rave and shout and print obscenities (well, okay, I won't go quite that far) and get it out of my system instead of raising my blood pressure and causing an ulcer.

I'm having to deal with a close relative who has suddenly decided that immediately (as TODAY) he wants to be released from the nursing home where he has been for almost an year, and refuses to consider any possibility that he MIGHT not quite be ready for home life.

And regardless of how many times I TELL him this, he refuses to hear and comprehend,

I'm just tired of this. I've been taking care of this ''adult" for the past two years - it's more like having a child throwing temper tantrums.'.

Okay, that's all I needed to get out of my system... at least for this evening.

FORGETTING FACES

My mother-in-law is in her eighties, and is becoming more conscious of her memory lapses.

Tonight she was trying to remember the first name of a woman she had know all of her (the woman's) life, and simply couldn't come up with it. And was trying to be cheerful about it, but it obviously bothered her.

I have always had problems with putting the correct name to the face. Since young adulthood.

I have a brain injury I can blame part of it on, but I simply have never had a great memory for names.

I can blame the fact that some people simply don't look like their name (I am forever having problems with Yvonne, who simply does not LOOK like a Yvonne - a Kathy, a Lisa, great, but not a Yvonne).


Or perhaps this is early Alzheimer's, settling into my poor damaged brain early.

MEETING FACE TO FACE

I  must be an evil person.

The idea of having a meeting about a certain person without the presence of that certain person sounded great to me.

That way we could freely say things and openly discuss things which otherwise would  get this certain person upset and agitated and distraught.

Made perfect sense to me.

I was outvoted.

So we had a distinctly awkward, stilted meeting where we tiptoed carefully around the subjects and methods and decisions.

And almost everything was almost finally addressed.

But I was holding my breath for almost half an hour, and it was extremely uncomfortable.

BUT WHAT ARE YOU REALLY SAYING HERE?

There are polite ways to phrase questions and requests.

"Please excuse me" sounds much better than "Get outta my way."

"Could you pass me the salt" is nicer than "Whadda ya doing, hogging all the seasonings?!"

But then you get into questions with possibly a dual meaning.

Last night my husband asked me if the dishwasher had clean or dirty dishes in it.

Perfectly reasonable request, but it MEANT something different,

It MEANT "So will you unload it so I don't have to."

A innocent inquiry - "Did you get my laundry done?"

Meaning "Did you get my laundry done and if not, WHY?"

Or am I simply being too sensitive?

 

WE GATHER THIS DAY TO MOURN THE PASSING...

My PC had died.

It's been declining for several weeks, but also could be rebooted, coddled and talked into operating,

It now is completely dead.


I miss it.

We've enjoyed a close relationship for a number of years, and I was accustomed to its cyber layout, its keyboard and mouse. It's been where I can play on it and still watch my DVDs with my feet up on a small crate.









We were affected by the government shut-down more than most of you were - we didn't get a full paycheck, and won't get our back pay for a few more weeks.


So buying a replacement will have to wait.

In the meantime, I am stuck with using my cellphone and this old Toshiba laptop. 
 And I am not very happy about it.

TALKING TO MYSELF

I freely admit I talk to myself quite a bit.



I'm home alone the majority of the day, so I do talk to the animals and myself.



I've been told for years that this can be a sign of declining mental health, so I suppose I should be concerned, but I'm not.



Everyone has some sort of monologue going on in their head constantly; I just voice mine occasionally.

 It's a way, for me at least, to blow off some steam - relieve some stress.



And if I direct my thinking towards God, it's called prayer, and that's perfectly acceptable.

ISN'T THAT JUST WHAT I SAID?!

My brother is still in a nursing home.

Like he has been for the last nine months.

And he's decided he is tired of it, and wants to move out.

Like TODAY.

And he thought that if he can get himself up into the wheelchair, and then into my truck, then I can drive him cheerfully and happy and drop him off at his new home with his niece and nephew (i.e. my daughter and son) for a carefree rest of his existence.

I can appreciate how weary he must be of the facility.

But this is the same man who refused any type of inpatient involvement for months.

This is the same man who used to curse out the staff when they couldn't get to his needs immediately.

And most importantly, this is a man who needs probably about an additional six months of physical and occupational therapy before he is in any manner ready to face the outside world.

So he asks me, this morning, what he needs to do to get out the nursing facility, "for real."

And I told him:


- Begin to participate fully in all physical and occupational therapy.

- Get out of bed, into his wheelchair, and get involved in activities.



- Show a willingness to jump through the hoops at the facility.

- And then get discharged.


He didn't want to hear ANY of this from me.

And he TOLD me this, in no uncertain terms (and a few terms that I would not repeat in polite company).

I suggested that he ask a staff person, then, and see what they said.

He called a nurse in, and guess what she told him?

Exactly what I had said.

And I mean, EXACTLY.

She also added one thing I hadn't been quite brave enough to mention:

Have a better attitude.

We'll have to see if that is possible.

FEELING OLD SUDDENLY

Some things I knew to expect as I got older.

I anticipated the aches and pains.

I honestly did expect more grey hairs to be on my head by now.

And I am completely surprised that more of me hasn't fallen completely apart by now.

But I am still amazed how much credibility I suddenly have.

See, when you get to a certain age, people sort of assume you know what you're talking about.

I've never been that quiet retiring sort; I've always been more than a little vocal.

But as I've gotten older, my opinions seem to suddenly hold much more weight with people.

I think I could get used to this.

OKAY PEOPLE LET'S JUST ACT LIKE ADULTS FOR A CHANGE

This is getting ridiculous, U.S. public.

No one is trying to destroy the freedom of the American public.

No one is trying to set up an insidious plan that somehow will overthrow the entire government.

We do have not criminals running this country into the ground.

States seceding from the U.S.A. will not accomplish anything.

Come on, let's get back to normal work here.

I'm becoming very tired of all of this.

CHRIST-LIKE OR ACCEPTING ABUSE?

I know I've raised this question before, but it came up again yesterday.

Someone wants something.

I'm not willing to immediately give this person what they want.

This someone then erupts into a temper tantrum, lashing out with angry words and threats.

(Sounds like our government right now, doesn't it?)

I then end up retreating and giving the someone what they wanted in the first place.


Problems?

Number one; I've reward bad behavior.

Number two; I've now in a bad and depressed mood.


This would all be much simpler if I was dealing with a five-year old.

However, I am taking about my sixty-two year old brother.


And since I am striving to become more Christ-like, I wonder if this is abuse or simply to be tolerated as Christ tolerated and forgave the people who worked against him.

Should I be working on walking out the door once the abusive behavior begins? Or should I focus on forgiving him while still now bowing to his whims?

When is it service and when is it abuse?

Or am I supposed to teach a 62 year old some manners?

Any thoughts?

OHIO

A friend on Facebook was just at Kent State, on "an unexpected stop... 43 1/2 years later", and posted some photos that are on the right - the "now":

On the left are the images that have been burned into my memory.

  And the song "Ohio" , which was released four days after the shooting, made a huge impact on me.

CHURCH IN PAJAMAS

Twice a year, my church broadcasts a general conference.

And instead of having to get up, get dressed, and drive to church, I can sit and watch it at home in my p.j.s.

And as one with limited hearing, I especially appreciate the subtitles.

When at church, although I sit in the very front pew, it's difficult to hear everything that is said.

I watch the lips of the person speaking, but all the other noise of a normal LDS church meeting often drowns out any chance of actually hearing what they are saying.



And I have often wished for some way to project subtitling directly under the speaker.

General Conference does that for me, and I appreciate it.

DADDY'S IN THE KITCHEN

While the government shutdown is playing havoc with our nation, it at least has brought about one positive thing.

My husband has taken over my kitchen.

He has three new books of recipes, one of bread-making, and three brand-new differing-sizes crock-pots sitting on the kitchen island.

He has made stuffed apples, to be served later with ice cream.

If this shut-down goes on for any length of time, I'm going to get fat.