DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE

"Any abusive, violent, coercive, forceful, or threatening act or word inflicted by one member of a family or household on another can constitute domestic violence."



Today, I freely admit I committed domestic disturbance.




I threatened my poor damaged and urine-stained carpet with the vacuum.

I abusively and violently attacked the floors with a broom. 



And I swore violently at the various dust-bunnies, the cobwebs hiding up in the corners, and the permanent scars all around my house.


Okay, go ahead and call 911.

DOUBLE THE TROUBLE

Military wards work just a little bit differently than completely civilian wards.

You usually are only at a duty station for 2-3 years maximum, so you don't have a lifetime to make friends.

And you normally are quite a ways geographically from any actual family.

So you make friends pretty quick - and you adopt family from the people around you.

I became a grandmother ante partum of some twins; the dad was in Afghanistan, and the family had already been blessed with a VERY active two year-old that the mom was having to deal with during this pregnancy.

And it was primarily only a sacrament meeting grandparent - I entertained Alister, and when the twins were born, was normally holding one of them.

The twins grew - the dad got home safely from the Middle East - they began sitting by themselves in a row behind me.

Until today.

The bishop, who obviously was NOT thinking very far ahead, asked BOTH the parents to give talks in sacrament meeting this morning. 

So one other not-quite-blood-grandparent took one girl - Rose, who took the switch fairly easily -- and I got Penny, who did NOT react well to her mom leaving her to go sit on the stand.

So I spent an entire hour holding, bouncing, walking, playing, following Penny.

I got my aerobic exercise, even on the Sabbath.

A MORMON AND A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS WALK INTO A BAR...

I don't have any trouble talking to strangers.

As anyone in my family can tell you, I can strike up a conversation with almost anyone about almost anything in almost any place.

So things like "cold calls" or knocking on strange doors hold no fear for me.

But today I was placed in an unusual chronological circumstance.

I had volunteered to go to around twelve close neighbors (close geographically, not necessarily friendship-wise) to drum up support for a road-paving proposition - knocking on the door, explaining what the project was and why/how we should support it, and get their signature on the form.

But guess what.

I was obviously following a group of Jehovah's Witnesses, judging from the small pamphlet inviting people to attend a three-day conference entitled "God's Word Is Truth" (side bar here - how do they expect people to attend three days worth of church - people are upset that us Mormons meet for a three HOUR block each Sunday).

So people obviously were already primed to NOT answer their front doors.

I'm going to try again tomorrow.

HIDING UNDERNEATH MY BED

Yes, I react to many things the same as a young child.

I'm scared of things I don't know anything about.

I drool when I see chocolate... heck, I drool if I THINK about chocolate.

And I'm frightened by loud noises.

This late afternoon, we had a severe thunderstorm that hung right over the roof of our house for about four days... at least it felt like four days.

So the dog, the cat and I hid under the blankets together and shook.

HUMIDITY IN THE DESERT

Humidity is the amount of water vapor in the air. Where I live in Arizona, our humidity can be as low as 10%.





Today it is over 50%





This obviously is nothing compared a 93-degree dew point temperature was recorded once on the Persian Gulf - a 95-degree day, with 95% humidity.





But for us desert animals, it feels like walking through water.

PREPARATION WHAT FOR WHO?

The older you get, the more important bodily functions become.

And the easier you can talk about them in casual conversation.

Sometimes much too easily.

I went into a CVS Pharmacy yesterday, and was greeted by a bright-eyed, rather young female employee with a cheerful "Can I help you find anything?"

So I got right to the point - "I need Preparation H for my brother."

The bright-eyes suddenly began slightly glazed - "Preparation what?"

"Preparation H? For hemorrhoids."

The glazed expression rapidly became completely blank.

"Hem-what?"

"Forget it - I'll find it."

AN ACCOLADE FOR DIAMOND DELILAH

Greyhounds are unusual pets.

I assumed that, since they are racing animals, they would be similar to Thoroughbred horses - excitable, uptight, hyper.

But they aren't!

Greyhounds are relaxed, affectionate, couch-potatoes who will sleep up to 23 hours a day.

They have a few faults - they understand only one direction ("forward"), they never learn to respect any boundaries you set (if the kitchen counter is within reach, that chicken is theirs), and they must be kept in-doors (having no body fat does have disadvantages when it is not 72 degrees outside day and night).

But Delilah learned to deal with various other dogs (Murray, Sofi, and Cissy) and cats (Pandora and Chloe) and learned (the hard way) that horses can kick.

She never even began to grasp the concept that a vehicle (car, sedan, garbage truck) might in some incredible way hurt  her - she would stand fearless in front of any moving object bearing down on her at 45 mph and not move.

Thank goodness she was never injured in such an encounter.

But day before yesterday she began to lose use of her right hind leg - by the time I got her to the vet yesterday, she was dragging the other hind leg also.

It was either having her go through a huge variety of expensive blood work and a lengthy wait trying to figure out what was causing her such pain -- or put her down.

Delilah had a lengthy and successful history on the track - and she had over six years of a pretty easy life in the Wiltfong's household.

We will miss her.

I WANT MY MOMMY

Sometimes it is simply wonderful to be an adult.

You can choose to eat junk food for an entire evening, and only regret it when your bloated stomach in the morning feels like throwing up.

You can stay up late watching a movie on television, and no one reminds you that tomorrow is a school day and you really ought to be asleep.

You can make decisions based on your own good judgement as the situation warrants.


Tonight I don't want to be that adult.

I want someone to give me some medicine that will make my throat and my tummy feel all better, put me in my pajamas and put me to bed with Vicks vapor rub or a steamer, and come in the middle of the night to feel my forehead.


I'm surprised I didn't grown up to be a hypochondriac, because when I was little, the only time I seemed to get warm, positive feedback from my mother was when I was sick. She had tons of medicines (samples pilfered from the physician she worked for), and always seems very certain that whatever she gave me would take the pain away.

And tonight I feel feverish and tired and achy all over.

I'd like a mom, please.

TO EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

We've had our share of natural disasters over the past few years.

The Monument Wildfire burned a huge part of the Huachuca Mountains and destroyed all the homes up Ash Canyon just a few miles from my house. And the floods that followed took out a lot of other houses and roads.

We've been in a prolonged drought, but when our rain does come, it comes all at once. The ground becomes saturated quickly, and all the rest simply runs off into floods -over highways, done the canyons, and especially over our dirt roads and wipes them out pretty quickly.

And right now the rains, they is a'coming.

So my husband and I tomorrow evening are going to repack our emergency supplies kits, get together stuff to get us through a few days in a shelter, and plan on ways to take care of the animals.

Getting four horses into the back of my little pick-up sounds perfectly reasonable, doesn't it?

ANSWERS TO MOST QUESTIONS

1. Chocolate.






2. More sleep.









3. Time.

NATIONAL ATTENTION

I live in the southwestern corner of the southeastern county of Cochise in the southwestern state of Arizona.

I live in Palominas, what is called a rural area - a lot of dirt roads, open acreage, cattle grazing, houses on at least four acres of land.

No shopping centers, no fast food, no restaurants (one cafe), only one 24-hour convenience/gas store.

We don't get mail delivery or newspaper delivery except out at the main highway - the roads do so much damage. I still haven't figured out why UPS and FedEx still deliver right to our doors, but I sure appreciate it.

So we don't get much mention in national news. Our last 15 minutes of fame was way back in 1982 when there was a shoot-out at the Miracle Valley Bible College campus between the parishioners and county sheriff deputies, where 2 individuals were killed and multiple injuries.

We do get politicians who came down here to moan and groan about how open or how protected our border with Mexico is; drug tunnels which are discovered in Nogales or Naco make local news, at least.

But tonight we got mentioned in a NATIONAL weather issue:

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN TUCSON HAS ISSUED A * FLASH FLOOD WARNING FOR... SOUTHWESTERN COCHISE COUNTY IN SOUTHEAST ARIZONA... *

UNTIL 1100 PM MST ...ANY ADDITIONAL RAIN WILL ADD TO THE FLASH FLOODING THAT IS OCCURRING. ... 2 TO 4 INCHES OF RAIN HAS FALLEN IN THE WARNED AREAS...ESPECIALLY BETWEEN HEREFORD AND PALOMINAS. WATER LEVELS IN THE SAN PEDRO RIVER NEAR PALOMINAS HAS RISEN TWO TO THREE FEET 6 PM. 

Can you tell that we're excited about it?

TIRED OR DEPRESSED?

I freely admit to being one of those persons who needs 9-10 hours of sleep a night.

When I was little, I would never get upset about nap time - I loved it.

Even when I was in high school, I would happily come home from school and take a little cat-nap.

I managed all those years of working full-time by using my lunch break for sleep - hidden away in some supply closet on a blanket on the floor - that little couch in the back shipping area - even the backseat of my car in the parking garage.

When I was using the public transportation in D.C., I could dose while on the Marc heading for home (and only slept through my stop a couple of times).

But now, not working regular hours, I am actually getting that 9-10 hours at night... and a couple more hours through naps.

But I am still craving more.

I am exercising - I'm up to two miles a day - I am getting out and doing things.

But I don't hang around with people much - I still live with a chronically depressed husband.

Is this trying to escape reality - is it depression -

or is it simply old age now?

THUNDER AND LIGHTNING

Human reactions are very strange about certain things.

Why are we scared of thunder, when it can do nothing to hurt us?

Reaction to loud noises seems to be a built-in reaction, at least to judge from an infant's immediate screams when startled by a clamor.

But even as adults, we jump a foot and a half (at least I do) when the thunder crashes over our heads.

And it's even sillier that lightning, despite it's obvious danger, is so beautiful in form - we pour over photographs of it.

We're finally in our monsoon season here in southern Arizona, and as you have probably guessed by now, our afternoon clouds have moved in and are just beginning to drop their load on our mountains.

And I'm jumping.

And also oohing and ahhing.