FREEZING IN MOTION

There is always something to do around here.

Housework, the animals, writing, church responsibilities - and that's without adding the time-draining addictions of Pinterest, Facebook, anything Sherlock related, and this blog.

And I'm not talking just busy-work; I've got feedings, waterings, cleanings and organizationals that are the only reason this house remains upright.

But then I run into a "big" job.

Something that is either a big financial or time matter.

And I freeze.

I can't move.

I can't make a decision - I can't move onto the actual problem - I can't even begin to think about solving the problem.

I know what stops me - pure and simple fear.

I'm afraid of making a money and/or time commitment - I'm scared to ask anyone else for help - I'm petrified that there isn't going to be the money, or if I do spend it, I'll immediately be confronted with another issue where I'll need it - I'm terrified that it won't work out.

So I stop all action, and sort of shut-down for a while.

Usually these freezes are only for a few hours - sometimes as long as a day or two - and then I can get moving again.

But I'm in the midst of one that's been one that's been literally for MONTHS.

It's not an easy decision, but it's an EXTREMELY urgent one.


I finally did what I should have done months ago.

Followed an old itinerary from the book "Dune" by Frank Herbert:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Once that was done, I was fine, moved past and through the fear, made decisions and did what needed to be done.