Sometimes there is a great deal of planning & preparation before a new arrival.
With a human baby, normally you have the nine months of pregnancy (10, for me) to adjust to the idea of an infant and get ahead on things like blankets and cribs and bathing hats (whoever thought of this was a GENIUS).
People throw you baby showers (at least for your first one), grandparents sent presents, you haunt with Baby's 'R Us or get real acquainted with thrift shops if you can't afford Baby's 'R Us.
With adoption, you sometimes have years of anticipation (and heart-break when it doesn't work out).
But normally you do have some time.
Yesterday we acquired two goats, and we are getting two more today.
Without any planning at all.
A friend was giving them away FREE, wanted to get rid of them IMMEDIATELY.
The Relief Society lesson Sunday was from President George Albert Smith's teachings.
Our teacher, a simply lovely person, did a wonderful job of sharing quotes from the manual and encouraging discussion from the group [sidebar: it's frustrating when a teacher asks a questions and then won't allow that semi-awkward time for it to settle in before she answers the question herself - this sister was much braver than that, and I loved it].
But I couldn't help but notice one class member's reaction the following quote.
Our Heavenly Father … said long, long ago there were idlers in Zion, … and he said, “He that is idle shall not eat the bread nor wear the garments of the laborer.” [D&C 42:42.]
It was more than a smug look - it was a superior gleam, looking down the nose at those "idlers." And the next part of of the quote I don't think she even heard -
I am assuming that he did not mean those who cannot find employment, and who are legitimately trying to take care of themselves. I am assuming that he referred to the habit some people get into of leaning upon their neighbor. …
As a whole, our congregation is pretty well off.
Most of our ward's area is single-family homes, zoned rural, so we each even have a little bit of land. We include one low-income area, but again, mainly self-sufficient families.
But I think we needed to hear this: And whatever we do let us not make those who require assistance feel like paupers. Let us give what we give as though it belonged to them. God has loaned it to us. Sometimes we who have accumulated means [act] as though we think it belongs to us. Everything that we have, our food, our clothing, our shelter, our homes and our opportunities are all given to us... (And) if we will … impart of our substance ...we will obtain from him who lives on high the blessings we need in our day
Political comments are made about how 'lazy' people are on welfare - how they 'depend' on the government instead of going out and working.
I want to ask anyone who makes these observations - have you ever been unemployed for any significant amount of time? Have you ever had difficulty feeding your family? Have you ever been homeless?
And isn't there an great line from Christ, about judging not?
I realize that a large part of growing up is simply learning not to care.
When you are three years old, and your play-date friends calls you a poo-poo head, that is terrible.
When you are eight years old, and your best friend suddenly plays at recess with someone else, it's horrific.
And then when your heart is broken for the very first time, either by the most popular boy in the school who never notices that you exist, or that movie/ television/music star that you know if he really really got to know you, you would be the most wonderful couple in the universe.
But then when you fall in love - he falls in love with you - you are a couple, a pair - and then he, the louse, the loser, the bastard, falls in love with someone else - or gets bored and leaves - or doesn't want to commit or does want to commit... regardless, your heart is shattered.
Okay, enough about love.
But you learn, hopefully, to move on. You learn that you can live - regardless of what your heart feels, it continues to beat, you continue to breath, life continues to happen.
And when you don't get that job - you have to move - your parents die - your best friend comes down with cancer - you end up turning into someone that you actually don't like -
Well, you keep living. So. Where am I going with this?
For me, at least, a lot of this has involved a great deal of letting go. Lowering your standards. Some times abandoning high standards. And abandoning sometimes even LOW standards.
Yesterday I felt like I hit rock bottom.
After almost an hour of juggling three people (two of whom really 'knew' horses - NOT) and seven horses, trying to let them have the 'experience' of being around the horses while keeping anyone from being kicked, bit, stepped on or knocked over --
-- and also ensuring that the horses were not messed with or wrongly disciplined or messed with --
-- I was, admittedly, weary and tired and frustrated.
But, after one of those 'knowing' horses persons got her fingers bitten by the colt, I had to bring her into the house to wash and bandage the wound.
And was greeted by my usual dirt and urine patches on the carpet (courtesy of three dogs, especially one simply impossible-to-house-break one), scattered coffee grounds & bits of bread, salad and smooshed banana on the kitchen floor (courtesy of my sixty-one year old brother and his poor eyesight), ripped furniture (courtesy of an Australian Shepherd and three cats) with dust all over (courtesy of our southwestern Arizona wind).
I could care less, but I would really, really have to work at it.
I've lived with someone who looks at life from a terrorist point-of-view for over thirty years now, so I think I've heard about all possible negative aspects of life.
And although I am still an optimist in many ways, I have seen parents do incredibly horrific things to their children. So when I see someone berating a child, I can't help but think, "If they are doing this where everyone can see, how much more do they do when at home and in private?"
And I fear for the child.
But last week at Disneyland, I saw remarkably few upset parents, and only a sprinkling of any discipline problems.
And since there are few more public places than an amusement park, I wondered a bit if it might be the reason.
However, I observed something far worse than over-disciplining a child.
Total and complete neglect.
A toddler was making his energetic way into the crowd, and I looked to make certain there was some exasperated parent charging up, following his path.
And there wasn't.
A thousand scenarios raced through my mind - none of them good ones - and I turned to follow the little one myself to make certain he was safe.
And then I finally heard a bored female voice: "Hey, get over here."
I turned to face a woman with an empty stroller who was leisurely coming through the crowd, but obviously could not see the child.
Now, I'll admit I might be an overprotective parent. I still wish my kids as adults had to hold my hand while crossing a street. I simply don't let my grandchildren out of my sight when we are anywhere in public. I might appear as some sort of pervert as I hover outside the public restroom stall door waiting for them.
But I think almost anyone, when taking a small child to a place that daily averages 40,000 people in the park, would at least consider a harness.
Disneyland does have a sterling reputation for getting lost children safely back to their parents - look at http://www.mouseplanet.com/akrock/akrock7.htm for more details, if you are interested.
The expression of "Not taking the Lord's name in vain" confuses me sometimes. Most of the time when I exclaim "GOD!" I really am talking to him in a "Oh, God, tell me why this is happening to me right now!" way.
(And I sort of love that even non-religious folks will exclaim His name sort of automatically when in a life-threatening situation)
But I do understand why we shouldn't be saying "God damn it!" - we're sort of trying to re-direct God's displeasure towards something that we silly mortals are upset about.
But after (ahem) using that actual expression the other day, I got thinking about it.
And instead of "God damn it," what if we were actually saying "God DAM it", using dam as in a dam blocking a river's flow?
So instead of trying to invoke God's anger, we were asking God to STOP all the blessings going to this person/situation/political situation?
Somehow to me this expands this "curse" into an actual CURSE.
We are dependent upon God for our lives - our frail human bodies - some sort of direction in this chaotic interaction we call our lives.
Stop that? Gosh, no, that takes almost everything meaningful out of human life.
Guess this will help me from stop using that expression.
Why do people think that other groups/ people (obviously the ones that believe differently than THEY do) are deliberately trying to do evil?
This presidential campaign is getting silly at times (well, what political campaign doesn't end up being silly before the end?), but the claims on BOTH sides can be ridiculous..
In our church parking lot yesterday was a rusted four-door sedan crudely-emblazoned with letters spelling out "OBAMA IS A LIAR."
Calling people names is one way to dehumanize them. And calling them BIG names (like liar or cheat or socialist) is one way to scare people who are willing to be scared (fear IS a choice, believe it or not).
Do they really believe that people consciously WANT to do evil? That they are DELIBERATELY choosing a way to hurt everyone else?
I don't agree with a LOT of other people politically, religiously or socially - but I know in my heart that they are trying to do what THEY feel is right and best and good.
And part of my spiritual beliefs is that we are ALL children of our Heavenly Father, and siblings of our brother Jesus Christ, our Savior.
Isn't one of the BIG commandments "Love one another"?
And that is NOT followed by "...except if they are Democrat/ Republican/ Muslim/ Catholic."
The commandment is NOT "... except when they disagree with your version of reality."
NOT "...when you don't like them."
No, the commandment is pretty much for ALL of us, and it is about EVERYONE.
I may not agree with a politician - but I am certain he/she is trying to honestly do what they think is best. So can we just stop the name calling for the next, oh, 31 days?
I experienced first hand this morning how rumors get started.
My dog, Sophie, has a weak bladder, and often wakes me apologetically in the middle of the night and asks very politely if she may be allowed go outside for a short little pee.
So this morning around 2 a.m., we (Cissy, the other dog, and I) were standing in front of our house waiting to her to complete her business when we saw two police cars racing down Highway 92, lights flashing and sirens screaming.
Now, we live in the rural area right next to the U.S./Mexican border - there isn't a whole lot of anything out here except a lot of manufactured homes surrounded by yucca and mesquite trees. And very rarely on our ONE highway does any law enforcement or emergency type of vehicle need to use its lights, let alone its siren.
So TWO hauling ass was an unusual site.
We all went back into the house and slept for several more hours, but then learned in the early morning that two Border Patrol agents had been shot and one killed east of us.
And a short time later I learned the one agent's name because he was a member of our church - people were going to be arranging meals for his family and the funeral.
Okay, here's where the rumor mill begins.
Our sister missionaries, young women in their early twenties who serve for 16-18 months, came over to, in my expression, "play with the horses." I have seven very friendly, sweet horses in my back yard - unfortunately, only one of them is ride-able, and only three I trust on a halter with an inexperienced person.
So they are helping me brush the horses and untangle their long manes when I mention that a Border Patrol agent had been killed, and said he was LDS.
Turns out he was second counselor in the ward I had been a member of until just recently when our stake was rearranged.
So the senior sister quickly calls the elders to make certain they know about it -- and suddenly probabilities that we had been mentioning about the murder were being passed on as FACTS - that is WAS drug smugglers, that it WAS a mounted patrol, that it HAD happened just before I spotted those lights and heard those sirens.
And then the elder would pass on THOSE tidbits as facts ("but they were right near where it happened!"), and perhaps expand a bit on additional possibilities.
This is how rumors take on a life of their own, and I feel responsible for this one.
With a human baby, normally you have the nine months of pregnancy (10, for me) to adjust to the idea of an infant and get ahead on things like blankets and cribs and bathing hats (whoever thought of this was a GENIUS).
