TEARS

Today was a day for crying.


Some of being shocked and horrified - a friend of mine is awaiting a biopsy for possible cancer, while her husband has just lost his job, they are losing their house, and are being forced to move within the next two weeks.




Some of sheer joy - leading one of my favorite hymns of all time, but being completely unable to sing and just had to stand there directing with tears running down my cheeks.






Some of simply feeling humbled and receptive to the spirit. Learning once again how much I have to learn. Recognizing that it can only happen with God's help.









Sweat and tears sometimes seem necessary - today I got a lot of both out.

STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK

Problems expand so as to fill all the emotional space available.

And I fully acknowledge that this past year I have had as unproblematic a time as humanly possible.

(Well, if you don't count adding six horses, four different dogs, a broken nose and sixteen stitches on my skull)

But right now I have just one too many dilemmas in my life.

I am adjusting to having a husband back from a war zone.

We now also have my diabetic, partially blinded older brother living with us.

My church organization is beginning a new year of youth activities with absolutely NO plan in place.

And my mother-in-law had surgery this morning in Oregon, draining fluid from her brain following a stroke this weekend - so my husband is agonizing as to whether he should immediately fly out there, caught between his duty as a dutiful son and the presence of another family member he does not live already being out there.

It could be worse - it could be much MUCH worse - but I am suddenly having daily headaches, trouble breathing, and rapid heart beat.

Any chance we could at least eliminate one of these problems?

NO MORE FOR ME, THANK YOU

Right at this moment, I am feeling just a tab bit overwhelmed.


I have my 60 year old, diabetic & uninsured brother living with me, who needs medical care, glasses, possible glaucoma treatment, and is so weak at the moment that he must be kept under constant surveillance.

I have six horses which are not my own, to feed, buy feed for, tend, groom and train.

I have a spouse who has just returned from a year in Iraq who wants all sorts of time with me in particular and seems especially needy and in need of continual reassurance.



I have a disabled daughter living in town who needs a constant supply of encouragement, reassurance, and pizza.

I have a son who is dealing with depression, menial employment, and denial.




HOWEVER - I have two horses that ARE mine who are a constant source of delight.

I have one daughter who is healthy, happy and sane... well, most of the time.

I have a dog from an abusive past who is coming to trust me.

I have a view of snow-capped mountains from a heated home.

I have a truck to be viewed as a developing art form.

I get to meet and work with six awesome teenagers twice a week.

Thanks - now I feel better.