LOOKING FOR THE GOOD

Driving back from Tucson this afternoon, I saw a lot of beautiful things.


Trees just beginning to show tiny green leaves.







Wildflowers in profusion across the desert.

Clouds scurrying across the sky.

That clean brisk darker blue that comes with some pretty hefty winds.





It's easy sometimes to let the darkness overshadow the light.

BOSTON

No matter what terrorist or terrorist group claims responsibility for today's bombing at the Boston Marathon...

No matter what the purpose of this attack might be...

No matter what symbolism or meaning or political agenda that may attached...

There is no meaning to an eight-year-old child being killed.

Ever.

STEPPING UP TO THE ABYSS

What is fear?

Webster tags it as "A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined..."

My favorite acronym is F.E.A.R. - standing for "False Expectations Appearing Real."

Because very, VERY few of our fears are "real" because usually the threat is only in our minds.

We are scared because of something the could happen - we are afraid of what people might think - we fear possibilities, not realities.



I, however, do have one very legitimate fear.

It's being injured by a 1,200 lb. animal.

I have been hurt before, by this particular animal and other horses in general. I've been thrown, stomped on, knocked over, bitten, kicked and head-butted. I've had stitches, extended hospital stays, lots of bruises, and more than my share of pain and achiness (did I just invent that word?).

So just a smidgen of my fear may feel legitimate.

But I also know horses very well - in particular the one I own myself - and am fairly confident of my ability to boss them around and AVOID the aforementioned injuries.

So today, fighting some of these aforementioned emotions, I took this one animal and spent some time working with him alone in a separate location.

And wasn't hurt in the slightest.

AND HERE IN THIS CORNER...

Murphy's Law goes like this:

   Anything that can possible go wrong, does.
There is also

   If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong

   If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something


   Enough research will tend to support whatever theory.


And one of my personal favorites:

   After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original.

And tonight, another one was proven yet again to be completely correct...

If you clean the house before people come over, they will then end up being in the ONE SECTION where no one ever goes and so you didn't even attempt to clean it - so it has dust, dirt and actual literal DIRTY LAUNDRY scattered all over the furniture.

LAPSES IN COMMUNICATION (I.E. OUTER SPACE)

Some people I speak with a couple times a day - my disabled daughter in particular.

Others I chat with every day or so - my other daughter, my horses, my dogs, my older brother.

And then there are the people you see only on Sunday, or at the pharmacy, or when you go up to Tucson.

But I have two sisters whom I speak with, oh, about once a decade.


I've always been envious of families that are close.

Well, let me clarify.

I'm envious of families that are HAPPY and close. There are some that are weld very firmly, but only while in small claims court.

My oldest sister and I have 22 years age between us - neither of my sisters' husbands like me (to put it mildly) - we've just never been close.

My brother and I are only five years apart... and he's been living with us the past year, so....

Anyway, tonight I wrote my closest sister a fairly long letter, bringing her up to date on events in my life lately, especially concerning the aforementioned brother.

And wished that somehow a sheet of paper could do more to join us.

MY KINGDOM FOR A TOWEL

I am just getting back into the habit of going to the gym.

Part of me ROARS every time I begin to put my workout stuff in a bag - "What?! There is so much HERE that needs to be done! Why are you wasting time going into town!!??"

And there is an insistent nagging voice that says that all I need to do is go outside and just go for a walk around the block here at home (which is just a little more than 2 miles for me).

However, the more persuasive and seductive voice is the one that softly whispers, "Why don't you just go ahead and take a nap instead?!"


For this past week I have been good about ignoring all this and getting to the gym to do a little BABY workout - I am in poor enough shape that a 20 minute walk knocks me out.

But yesterday I forgot something.

No, I remembered my new workout shoes - I even took TWO bras (one by accident) and a change of clothes - I took my favorite workout shirt (the gray one).

But I forgot to take a towel for my shower.


I did get spoiled at my old gym, which provided unlimited amount of clean, fresh white towels for wiping your sweaty brow, and in a pinch serving as a towel for your shower.

My current gym does not have any such service.

So standing there, no towel, half-naked, sweating, still breathing hard, I reviewed my options:

--- I could put back on my sweaty gym outfit, ignore my in-town errands and simply drive back home and take a shower there.

---  I could wipe myself down with paper towels ("spit bath" is what the Army calls it)

---  Or I could use what resources were available - a hand-towel and a face-cloth.

Believe it or not, you can get pretty dry using just a hand-towel.

WHAT IS JUNK TO YOU...

I have the back of my truck loaded up for a trip to the land-fill tomorrow morning.




It is quite difficult for me to throw things away. I'm a bit of a pack-rat, and can always see new possibilities in anything I might be tempted to get rid of.


That piece of wood, scalloped at the edges from horses chewing on it, really looks like art to me.


Those 4x4s with metal shelving will attached by only three screws - that must be saved for use at a future time.



And that fence pole, with at least eight yards of yellow hay twine wrapped around it - gosh, I definitely might need as a replacement.. someday.



So loading up the pick-up this evening was bittersweet - rewarding in getting junk out of the way, and painful in being fully aware that I will certainly need each and every item I am contributing to the Cochise County Sanitation Department by next week.


I guess I just will have to go scavenge my things back then.