WHEN IS A CHICKEN SALAD NOT A CHICKEN SALAD

I love the sheer variety of places to eat when in a big city.

At home, there are only two Chinese restaurants, about three Mexican restaurants, six fast-food joints and a handful of sit-down restaurants.

Oh, and one Korean and one Vietnamese place.

And that's within an hour's drive from my place.

Here in Oceanside, there is literally HUNDREDS of eating places to choose from.

So today we stopped at a Firehouse Subs for, yes, don't be surprised, a subway sandwich.

I ordered a chicken salad sub... at least I thought I did.

I was confused when they did NOT ask me what type of bread I wanted, but verbally listed every type of dressing available - which isn't unusual as a condiment on a sandwich, but I thought rather lengthy in their variety.

So what did I end up with?

A salad.

A chicken salad.

It wasn't bad.

But it was NOT a sub.

PALOMINAS TRADING POST

When the economy slows, it's interesting to see what business are effected.

My brother, a full-time piano-tuner, can tell you when a whisper of economic distress is in the wind; other than professional musicians, most people can easily and without any pain put off paying $100 for getting their piano tuned.

Restaurants feel the punch, when people discover that, yes, they can eat cheaper at home and no, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is not just for college kids.

Even with us 'regulars' who frequented the Palominas Trading Post, some of us just weekly for Saturday morning breakfast, some every single morning (grumpy old men huddled over their coffee, reading the local newspaper and communicating only by grunts), the money simply wasn't enough to cover costs.

So Pam, one of my favorite people in the whole world, the owner/cook/manager, decided that she should clear out restaurant stuff and have a 'yard' sale (even though it's being held inside the empty restaurant).

Not a bad idea.

However, Pam also decided this would be a great time to get rid of all the extra stuff FROM HER HOME at the same time.

OMG.

You have to understand, those of you who have not had the honor of seeing the PTP, what the, er, interior design is like.

Popular in many restaurants is the antique, old-utensil decor, in a sharp, expensive Martha Stewart style.

At the PTP, there are many, many antique cooking utensils.

But here, they are USED.

It's not just a look - it's economical.

But it adds up to hundreds of coffee mugs, plate, salt and pepper shakers, napkin holders, bread pans, pots, pans, vases, glasses, syrup dispensers....
Add to this Pam's accumulation of STUFF over the past twenty-years - such a used watercolors, yarns, buttons, slide displays (remember slides? Little itty bitty photos than you needed a projector to look at?), dozens of old VHS videos, photo albums, cassette tape holders....

Then you get an idea of the upcoming yard sale on Saturday.

Please - stop by.

HEY STOP CHILDREN WHAT'S THAT SOUND

My husband forwarded me a column today regarding heterosexuals' violent response against gay rights/marriage/simply acknowledgement.

So this blog is asking, why the hostility?

Homosexuality may be a sin (or may not be, depending on your personal view), they may or may not be entitled to the legal binding of marriage, etc. etc. etc.

But why in the world do we have to get so worked up on it?

An extramarital sexual relationship (i.e. 'affair') is a sin, but when was the last time (okay, forget about John Edwards) people where publicly denounced for it?

Sexually and emotionally abusing a family member is firmly trounced, but why are there no news laws and/or legislation being introduced to stop it?

My grandson's kindergarten teacher may very well be a vegan, a Marxist and/or a lesbian - why should I care?

The profanity, the hurling of insults, the sheer volume of anger that seems to normally accompany any stand, regardless of which side, about homosexuality... how can this be kind of treatment towards another human being in any way be justified?

Christ's teachings can be narrowed down to loving God, loving yourself and loving your neighbor.

How can people defend such fury from either side?

I can understand if I was being forced to participate in activities I find offensive or sinful.

But I expect to be able to live as I chose in the privacy of my own home if I am not intentionally injuring another. And I respectfully must allow that same privilege for others, even if their sexual activities are foreign to me.

Children, can you try to play nicely together?

BIG CITY

To someone from Los Angeles or New York, Tucson is a quaint little desert town.

That would have been me thirty-five years ago.

To someone from a place like Palominas, Arizona, Tucson is a noisy, crowded and unfriendly place.

And that was me today.

I drove my daughter up to see a pain specialist in Tucson, and took the big leap of signing up at Costco, so at least when I'm up there with her, I can stock up on paper towels and toilet paper.

And for someone from Los Angeles, it is ludicrous to feel intimidated by a town the size of Tucson.

But now, living on a dirt road, three miles off the highway, without streetlights, utility poles and/or traffic lights... I must admit I was actually uncomfortable with speeding cars, quick lane changes which are necessary, and what the hell is the difference between "I-10 - Phoenix", "I-10 - Tuscon" and "I-10 - Downtown Exits" and why do you have to choose one four times when all three of them end in EXACTLY the same place?!

Sorry - exhaust fumes have obviously clouded my thoughts.

DOGS ON BLOGS

I love taking my dog, Murray, on walks. He grabs the nearest tennis ball (or the Frisbee, but only when he can't find a ball), lays it obediently before my path, and waits, almost shaking in anticipation, for me to kick it. He then bounds after it, and brings it back as fast as he can.

Delilah, on the other paw, must be on a leash all times she is outside. Greyhounds have only two speeds - racingfastblurofdogpassingby, and couchpotatoe. And they have one direction - straight ahead. No reverse available on these models.

When I take them both on a walk, however, they are completely unified on one particular thing - a bush, tree, tumbleweed, cactus... anything where another animal has urinated.

I used to think of dogs sniffing at each other's private parts as just disgusting, and would get impatient with my own dog sticking his nose literally up my ass.

But today, a huge light bulb went off over my head.

It's a dogs' blog.

"Wow, Ruckus met this little sweet bitch, and he thinks this may be the one! And Ragman had to have surgery - man, he already lost his nuts, how much else can they take from this poor guy?"

"Well, over here Hank says he almost caught two illegals last night; Border Patrol was just ahead of him. Geronimo has a crush on that little poodle, and WOW, it sounds like... oh, forget that, it's just a rabbit's pee."

We have gossip via the internet - canines have it through pee.

YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOURSELF

The adage "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" has been proven wrong every single day by the long-term relationship between my husband and myself.

We have been married for over thirty years now, and while I am from Los Angeles, Wilt is from somewhere beyond the galaxy of Andromeda.

We are talking about places that are BILLIONS and BILLIONS of light-years apart. Forget this neighboring planets thing.

We agreed on three things when we got married in 1978, and after thirty years together, we now agree on only two things (and no, they are not even the same as the original three). Our votes routinely cancel each other out, we go see movies separately, he watches TV in his room and I watch TV in the family room. Our orders at any restaurant are different; in fact, we usually don't like the same restaurants.

For these same thirty years, I have taken 4,233,987,103 deep breathes and repeated to myself, "You can't change anyone but yourself. You can't change anyone but yourself" 4,233,987,103 times.

Today I have a bit of an epiphany about this mantra that I have used for so long.

Somehow with the idea of "You can't change anyone", my freaky co-dependent mind silently (but STRONGLY) adds on "but if you can't change them, there is obviously some things that you can do, so the challenge is to find what you need to change or you need to change FOR them...

... and eventually it will all become right just like you want it."

It's pretty bad when you reach my age (53) and are just beginning to recognize that all those voices in your head are, really, just voices in your head.

They are not leading me onto a greater truth; they are misguiding me, and they are going to keep reminding me of failures, of disappointments, of past faults.

While camouflaged as 'learning from past mistakes,' 'keeping your guard up' and 'just keep on keeping on', they are making you make long, elaborate detours and keep you from recognizing a fundamental truth:

YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYONE BUT YOURSELF

Wait a minute, didn't you just said that was wrong?

Nope - it's only wrong when those co-dependent voices add on the rest. When I start accepting the reality, the fact that other people (including my obviously extraterrestrial husband) are THE WAY THEY ARE, I can deal better with acceptance, with forgiveness, with understanding.

And, as I keep learning and relearning and relearning, this is the way to peace.

THY WILL BE DONE

I am feeling particularly sympathetic towards Heavenly Father this week.

That sounds pretty arrogant, doesn't it?

But God has children, and he has to deal with a whole lot more than I have. He gave them all a pretty good game plan.... if they would just shut up and FOLLOW it like good kids.

But we think, oh, yeah, we know better, and we definitely know more than God way up in heaven, so we'll just keep advising Him to do things the way that we want it.

When it's put that way, I feel a little bit silly about some of my prayers. And now that I have an offspring who acts that way towards me, and as always, it is much easier to recognize it when someone else is doing it.

Enlightenment comes when you accept God's will as your own. I've got a long, long way to go down that path, but being a parent can sometimes give you an advantage in perspective.