LOOKING LIKE ROCKY AFTER THE FIGHT

I don't look my best at the present.

A couple of days ago I fell, hit my head on a couple of rocks, so I have five stitches holding the center of my forehead together for a few more days, with two black eyes and various scraps and cuts on other parts of me.

And I must admit I am extremely disappointed in most people's reaction when they see me in public.

I honestly thought I would get a couple of oh-my-god-what-happened-to-you.

I was hoping to get at least one did-someone-do-this-to-you-do-you-feel-safe.

But so far?

Most of my contact is them quickly averting any eye contact and hurrying past me.

It is amusing at least at the hospital (where my husband has been for the past three days with something completely and totally unrelated to my injuries); at least there you can see a glance of wonder-what-happened-and-who-put-in-those-sloppy-stitches.

But mostly it's omg-don't-look-at-her/me/that.

I know our current American culture is severely conflicted with a tendency toward voyeurism (look at all the reality shows) while encouraging isolation (Facebook, social networks, anything so you don't have to go out and actually MEET people).

But come on, people, I might need REAL ACTUAL HELP.

Someone might be physically abusing me, and threatening me to not tell anyone.

I might NOT have gotten any medical help because I don't have any insurance and can't afford it.

I might be frightened and scared and need some assistance.

Wait a minute.

THAT is why people aren't inquiring - it might make them have to do something.

Safer to look past and beyond.

I've seen this quote on the Internet recently:

“Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it. But I’m afraid He would ask me the same question.”

I think I understand this a little bit more now from the other side.

THROUGH THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

Why is it SSSOOOOOOOOOOOOO much easier to be nice/ compassionate/ helpful to complete strangers but not your own family?

Because you know that your brother/aunt/nephew has 1) gotten themselves into this scrape through actions of their own, 2) numerous times before been in the exact same situation, and/or 3) actually deserved the emergency disaster they are in.

My husband today has cheerful and willingly spent literally HOURS helping the daughter of one of his sergeants (who is currently in Germany) cut through the military-health care-through-a-civilian-hospital for emergency stitches on her hand, and also told the previously mentioned sergeant to come home immediately if necessary and not to worry about completing the inspection she was over there to do.

But now our actual/biological daughter's apartment is up for an actual inspection by the manager's of her complex, and it's difficult to get up any enthusiasm after literally years of "if-you-don't-keep-this-apartment-clean-you-are-going-to-get-kicked-out", purchasing cleaning supplies for her, about every six months breaking down and at least cleaning off her kitchen counters (which are buried under piles of pizza boxes, microwave dinner boxes, and discarded newspapers).

Have you ever wondered if the Good Samaritan helped this particular guy because this dude wasn't related to him?

It is much more pleasant to help almost anyone else in the world rather than someone you are related to.

(Of course, unless they live in Hawaii - then it is pure charity)