STANDING AT THE GRAVE

I am a more-than-casual fan of the BBC Sherlock series, starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman.

Perhaps a bit more than an enthusiast - maybe an aficionado - devotee.

No, let's get honest and use terms like addict - fanatic - extremist - MILITANT!

Okay, let me catch my breath for a minute.

I do tend to really get into things - it's not enough to watch the DVDs of the series, I am the person who memorizes the director's commentaries - digs out press releases - reads books about the making of the series sets, for goodness sake.

I know the director of photography's name - the guest stars and what shows they've been in - who wrote what script.

Again, this is only for the few television shows or movies that have completely overwhelmed me - Sherlock, Star Wars, the Harry Potter movies, Firefly....


But back to Sherlock.

Benedict Cumberbatch is simply beautiful, but Martin Freeman in the character of Dr. Watson is the one I am really in love with. He's good, faithful, dependable... all good things, but without being a dog. He argues and fusses with Sherlock, and doesn't agree with him all that often - but when Sherlock needs his back covered, John is there. The ultimate loyal friend.

In the last episode of season two, Sherlock dies. And since he is Sherlock, he also somehow survives. But John doesn't know this, and visits his graveside, and delivers a lovely little eulogy  ending with "and one more miracle, Sherlock... please, don't be dead."

Then he takes a minute and weeps silently, but then wipes his face, stands up and gives a tiny military nod.

And that's what this entire wandering blog entry is about.

We all need to take a moment.

Sometimes that moment can take years.

But when we've gotten through it, we need to straighten up - wipe our cheeks dry - and face up to life again.

This nod of John Watson says it much more eloquently than I can.

And tonight especially I needed to be reminded of it.

YOUTUBE ANONYMOUS

I have a problem.




I have discovered Windows Live Movie Maker.




And I can create things, granted, rather poorly so far, from photos and videos and combine my reel with music. I can change the timing, image color, fade ins and outs. I can include as many photographs of Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman as I want.





I may never be seen again.

DEFYING GRAVITY

Balance is difficult for some. Me? I am so unsymmetrical that I am amazed every time I make it across a room without falling over. Both my right arm and leg are significantly longer than my left - my eyes are misaligned enough that simple reading glasses need to be worn askance to be effective -- I can't chew bubble gum and walk at the same time.

So I forced constantly to adjust my stance, my momentum, my overall action and energies to not fall flat on the floor (although that literally do happen occasionally).

But I don't deliberately alternate my social and/or political beliefs to align and/or calculatingly clash (as some people do - the deliberate clash, I mean).


So I find myself somehow hanging somewhere around the middle of everything - and so infuriating EVERYONE ELSE.

I'm not the Republican conservative that most Mormons are - but I'm not the liberal Democrat that my husband wishes to be.

I support traditional family relationships -- but also am fully in favor of gays being allowed to marry.

I think abortion is the termination of a human life -- but don't think abortion should be illegal.

I agree that the government shouldn't be responsible for solving every one's problems -- but I have a disabled adult child who could  not live interdependently without food stamps and her state low-income health insurance.

I KNOW that the people who earn more money should be taxed more.

So I'm somewhere in the middle of all of this -and continue to make BOTH sides furious at me.

TRYING TO FINISH PROJEC...

I don't finish things around the house.

I have rooms almost completely painted ... except for about three inches at the top and one big circle in the ceiling.

I have printed posters/affirmations, on top of the frames they are to go in... without being actually inside the frames.

This morning I finally pulled off the final sheet of lettering on the wall - two words that have been up there for over a month now.

Why do I do this?




What purpose does it serve?


I think I know why.

"Finished" projects mean, to a particular person that I know, that I am ready to move on.

"Completed" is immediately followed by "and I'm out the door."


"Final" somehow is always paired with "exit."


 It's difficult - hell, that's way too nice a word - it's AGONY to have someone who always will mentally add some tag onto anything you say or do.

"What a nice tie!" gets "but you suck!" tacked on.

"I love you!" is followed by "But I can't wait to leave you!"

So when the final picture is hung, when the last wall is painted, when the floor is finally cleared of all those loose ends, he only sees a slate wiped clear, and someone who is OBVIOUSLY leaving.

And I'm aware that it isn't just this - it could be something as putting on my shoes, walking out the door - heck, it might already be -- but somehow over the past 34 years, this has become ingrained in me, wedged in my soul, as a do-not-cross-this-line.

So guess what.

I am going to try very very hard this next three weeks to get some of these hanging-on projects actually FINISHED, CLEARED, DONE, FINITO.

Wish me luck.

CHICKENS, KISSING AND CHRISTIAN ACTS OF LOVE

I'm getting a bit tired of the media/Facebook/news shouting about whether gay marriage should be legal.

Not tired of the talking - that's a very basic American right, to disagree - but the shouting part.

And the one with the most strident and deafening shrieks seems to be coming from the side which claims to be Christian.

Scriptures are pushed with great self-righteousness under the nose of the people who are "thumbing their noses at God's commandment", such as Romans 1:27 "the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet."

But then ignoring the following verse of "Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things."

And I think there are some other items on our moral agenda that should be addressed first, such as martial infidelity (57%), spousal abuse (25% for women, at least),

One in five women reported that they have been raped during their life

More than five children die every day as the result of abuse - 12 out of every 1,000 children were victims of maltreatment in 2005.

And less than 4% of our population report themselves to be homosexuals.

Focus, people, focus - we got problems a whole lot bigger than two people who are in love and wish to legally share their lives together.

And if you think gay marriage is morally wrong, abhorrent, and against God's commandments, then don't get gay married - no one if forcing you.

But if you believe in loving your neighbor (even if the neighbor is gay, or Muslim, or a liberal), then there are a lot more things more important that could use your attention.