KNITTING HANDGUN COSIES

Have you ever pointed out a well-behaved child to your child, and said, "See how good that kid is being?! Why can't you be like that?!" And I can almost guarantee you that you have noticed a misbehaving kid in public and have not mentioned to your child, "Thank goodness you aren't like that!" (somehow we think they might learn something terrible if we point out that they aren't doing badly).

I remind myself frequently that one particular child of me is NOT on cocaine, is not pregnant, is not living on the street. She is working, walking, talking, texting (which, with our own relationship, avoids a whole lot of arguing) and trying. I really have nothing to complain about.

But, compared to my two other kids (both of them marvelous albeit very different adults), this one takes up a whole of my time, and more importantly to me, a whole lot of ENERGY. Which is completely within my control, I understand (and this will have to be a completely separate blog... or a new book... hmmm....).

ANYway, this blog began to brag about my well-behaved DOG - I'm not certain where I left that, or why, but I will now get back on track.

I took my dog to the vet's early early early Monday morning to find out why he was scratching half of his fur off. Actually, I am a good enough dog owner that I did know why he was scraping off his skin - with inflamed, red skin, so probably an allergic reaction to something - and I evenknew that before I went on the Internet. But I also do not feel comfortable giving him prescription drugs (well, except for the Vicodin we share, I mean). And since it was the 'walk-in' clinic time, we ended up sitting for quite a while.

Most dogs react very predictably when they go to the vets - much like most of us try NOT to react like when we have to go to the dentist for a root canal or the doctor for a prostrate exam (which I could also write an entire blog about - men are such BABIES). They (back to the dogs, not the baby men) whine (well, we as humans do that also, don't we), turn and try to run away (re-scheduling?), and then panic and cry and pull on their leashes in the waiting room (whereas WE read old issues of "People" and "National Geographic" and try not to look at our watch as the time creeps by).

However, MY dog was the one every other owner was pointing to, saying "See!? Why can't you be good like that dog is being?"

Now, you may have asked yourself, "so where the hell does that title have to do with anything about kids and dogs?" IT DOESN'T. It's just one of the things the detective knits to relax on "Pushing Daisies" (another show my daughter has gotten me watching).

But I'll bet it caught your eye, and made you read to the end.