HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGY IN THE TRUCK?

Some people think a big truck says something.

And I have to assume in Arizona, at least, it must be something western, cowboyish, male and not, er, the  inadequate phallus that comes to my mind when the truck is jacked up seven feet, had four doors and a "MCCAIN/PALIN" sticker in the window (besides, wasn't that race decided about a year ago?)

But there is one thing about a truck which  makes everyone smile.

A dog in one.

I don't know if it is the goofy grin on the dog's face, the nose pointed into the airflow, or just the fact that is a dog.

But it does make fellow motorists smile.

NOT HALF FULL, BUT OVERFLOWING

I started off complaining about my internet connection on one computer being corrupted in some way, the power being off for the afternoon, and the crazy weather we are having.

And it only took a couple of seconds, thank goodness, for me to realize how silly my griping was.

I do have one computer  (this one) which works perfectly well; which just means I sit at a desk in my bedroom rather than the one in the family room.

Yes, the power was down for about five hours. But I live in a nicely insulated house - I still had food and water - and I still had a fully-charged cell phone.

And the weather is crazy, but only when compared to the lovely weather we have here in December (which is why about 8% of our county population actually live north of here the other 9 to 10 months of the year - what we call "snow birds").

Boy, do I feel silly.

WE SEE WHAT WE WANT TO SEE

I am lucky enough to live where there are incredible sunsets almost every night.

Yes, ones that look just like that.

So why aren't sunrises that impressive?

There is nothing in the least dazzling or spectacular when the sun peeks over the horizon. It's already all bright and day-lighty, and if you aren't paying attention, you won't even notice as it peeps out.

But both moon rises and moon sets are so exhilarating... at least to me.

Well, when they happen at night - because normally the moon gets completely lost in a daytime sky, and you only notice it by accident.

And with moon rises, there is "The Moon Illusion" (isn't that just a cool expression?), the optical illusion in which the Moon appears larger near the horizon than it does while higher up in the sky.

A couple of weeks ago, the moon was rising just as I would be walking out to say goodnight to my two biggest babies.

There is something about that huge white orb slowly showing over the Mule Mountains and rising in the night sky that makes me want to wax rhapsodic  - even if it is illusionary and I am obviously no poet.

BLOOD THAT EVEN A VAMPIRE WOULD REFUSE

I freely admit to being a wimp about a lot of things - however, I am going to tell you about just a couple (I do have a little pride).

Like I hate camping. I love the concept of being and sleeping outdoors in the mountains or at the beach

Except for one small item:

Plumbing.

I am just a little fanatical about washing my hands, and hand sanitizer just doesn't feel like enough. Although I certainly wished I had invested heavily in Purell right before H1N1 (the flu previously known as swine) got into the news.

And I think having a ceramic toilet indoors as opposed to crapping in the woods goes with mentioning (and you don't wish I hadn't?!).

I do love lying on top of a sleeping bag, looking up at the endless stars... but only when it's about 82 degrees outside.

That's my main weakness - I can't stand cold.

Everyone argues the point that in theory it's easier to bundle up against cold, and that you can only strip down to your skin when it's hot.

Well, that may be true for the rest of the world, but it doesn't work for me. Once it's less than 82 degrees, it's cold. Regardless of how many layers I wrap around myself.

 

Right now it's 28 degrees - so you guess how I am doing right now.

SLEEPING IN PUBLIC

Some things I simply do NOT forget.

I mean, things besides my social security number, my own phone number and my kids' names.

But I am very consistent in keeping my keys and my wallet in the exact same place for easy retrieval- and for the pure and simple fact I would never, ever, find them again.

However, last night I did assume ("which makes an ass out of me and you") that my wallet would have my driver's license and military identification in it.

Which are two things which are essential when you need to actually register into a hospital for a sleep study.

Bless the sweet lady at the reception desk late last night -- she signed me in on my word only.

But it wasn't the slumber party I anticipated, and for which I brought my blankee and teddy.

I spent last night hooked up to aprx. 37 wires glued to my scalp, three chest straps, two monitors stuck up my nostrils AND two infrared cameras monitoring my every move. And then was supposed to SLEEP a regular night's sleep.

The polysonography test is designed to check my breathing, see if I had sleep apnea, and if I did, awaken and force me to wear a CPAP mask (illustrated on the right).

And believe it or not?

I actually did SLEEP.

At least a little.

Now excuse me - I need to make up 8 hours of missed sleep.

EMOTIONAL BLACK-HOLDS

I don't know much about black holes.

Actually, I don't know much about anything except chocolate consumption and training overly cuddling and spoilt lap-horses.

But I digress.

So I'm going to quote a National Geographic site: "Because they are so small, distant, and dark, black holes cannot be directly observed. Yet scientists have confirmed their long-held suspicions that they exist. This is typically done by measuring mass in a region of the sky and looking for areas of large, dark mass."

But then this site says: "Black holes may not be totally black.  Infalling material can get hot enough to glow. (And) sometimes black holes are so bright they can outshine an entire galaxy.  Supermassive black holes can be so luminous we can see them from distances of billions of light years."

And then this is: "Now imagine an object with such an enormous concentration of mass in such a small radius that its escape velocity was greater than the velocity of light. Then, since nothing can go faster than light, nothing can escape the object's gravitational field. Even a beam of light would be pulled back by gravity and would be unable to escape. "

Hmm... like many things, we think we know what  we only think.

But back to the story (yeah, believe it or not, this blog isn't just about scientific theories - HA!).

This afternoon was spent allowing a familiar albeit frustrating and enormous emotional drainage ditch to empty my rapidly-depleted reserves of petite persistence.

I am exhausted.

CURSED AND DAMNED

I don't live a tough life. I live an extremely sheltered one.

I have a dishwasher. I use a Swiffer for the six square feet of linoleum in my house; vacuum for the rest.

I wear leather gloves when I'm fooling around with the animals outside, and if I am actually doing some work (such as patching the hay shed when rain unexpectedly falls from the Arizona sky).

I don't even have piles and piles of paperwork to file.

So why am I so cursed with recurring - nay, incessant paper-cuts, split fingernails. and torn cuticles?!

Have I somehow offended the unknown deity of cellulose? Should I be making offerings of shredded newspapers? Do I need to bow down and worship some kind of paper machie model?

Please, please, does anyone know of a cure... besides constantly slathering my hands with lotion, wearing band-aids and gloves 24/7?

Hey - that sounds like a great diet aid!