DEPRESSED OR LAZY?

I've been going through a rough period.

I got off one antidepressant in order to gain some energy - and then lost almost everything in the process.

I'm getting my feet back under me - am seeing another psychiatrist - but the lost energy is simply not coming back yet.

But is that depression, or am I simply being lazy?

It's hot, and easy to feel this way (the heat takes everything away from you).

Or is it lack of any ambition on my part?

SMELL OF RAIN IN THE EVENING CLOUDS

Technically, I do not live in the desert.

We receive enough rain to classify as "high chaparral", which means twice a year we get enough rain to keep our yuccas, mesquite and broom cactus alive.

But we receive little enough that we do refer to it locally as "moisture", not rain.

And it's more than a little bit of an event when it falls.

We're on the cusp of our summer monsoon season, and every afternoon, we look with eagerness to the gathering dark clouds over the mountains.

And we rejoice even when a few sprinkles come fluttering down.

We need the rain badly.

SWEETS

Horses are by nature herd animals; they don't fare all that well on their own.

And my poor horse, Najale, has been all on his lonesome for almost a year and a half now.

Enter Sweets, or Sweet Lady Grey (her full name).

Najale dances and squeals and gallops and races around, incredibly excited by the presence of another equine.





I put them in adjoining pens for a few hours until the fireworks peter out, and then let them formally meet.

A few more squeals - a couple well-placed kicks from each one - soon they are grazing together in harmony.









Looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

HOME SWEET HOME

I enjoyed my time in San Diego.

I just don't think San Diego enjoyed me.


Record high temperatures, numerous wildfires, insane winds....

I think I should stay out of California for a while.

SAN DIEGO WILDFIRES

I was in Los Angeles for two hours in March before they had the first significant earthquake in several years.

Now I'm in San Diego, and there are something like nine major wildfires surrounding my daughter's home.

I feel like the bearer of ill tidings.

We aren't all the close to the major fires, but there is smoke on every horizon and in every direction. It's enough to make one feel uncomfortable, but not enough to begin packing our stuff.

TAKING THE KIDS TO CHURCH

Being with a 7 and 10 year old during LDS church services offers a different set of challenges.

Instead of sitting quietly, there is a lot more movement.

And discussion. Of just about anything, during the time you are trying to be quiet.


And usage of paper.

And pencils.




But some great pictures to take home at the end of services.

And a greater appreciation of what their parents go through every week.

And some good memories.

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE (PART 493)

I both dread and delight in going to visit my grandkids and my daughter in California.


I always have a lot of fun playing with Kate and Colin and just being silly with Harmony.



But I leave so much... OPEN stuff here at home.

Things that will probably never get CLOSED before the end of my  mortal existence, but still nag away at me when I am someplace else.

Although I can quite conveniently ignore when I am actually home.


Things like my photo albums (which were once completely organized and then taken apart by my mom in her Alzheimer's years) -- cleaning (which is never ever going to be enough of a priority with me to take very seriously) -- writing (things besides this silly blog - this I can keep up long distance) -- taking time to work more with my horse.

Things that take the time that I never seem to have while at home, and yet have in huge globs while on vacation.  

Okay, Hope, take a deep breath.

Get packed.

And enjoy the time in California.