YES VIRGINIA THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS

I have become overly cynical over the years as Christmas becomes more and more commercial and less spiritual.

Not that it was ever really very spiritual - I mean, I grew up with the same lengthy, greedy Christmas lists, outrageous prices on dead trees, and fat men in red suits that supposedly dropped down the chimney and traveled via arial domesticated caribou.

But when our local paper ran a "Christmas Letters from Children," I assumed it was simply more tree slaughter to publish additional commercials for more bizarre spending due to guilt and bribery.

I was surprised.

Here are some samples (and for once, the spelling can be blamed on someone besides myself):


Dear Santa Claus,

How are you? Who is your favorite elf? Do you like cookies and Milk? What would you like for Chrismas. I think you have a hard job.

Thank for do all you can you are the best in the holl wrd.

Thank you for giving me that toy that I got last year. Santa, can you get something for my parents?

Could you bring my dog a pillo and blankit to keep her warm? Can you bring her play toy?

I hope your rain dear are doing well. Is Roodallf real? What kind of cookies have you ben eating?

Hi Santa Claus how are you doing? I helped a kid hurt on the street, but I kicked a man too. Santa Claus if you think I have been good enough the only thing I would want would be a great Christmas.

I have been a good girl, I think. What I want for Christmas is to bring my family for Christmas. Also thank you Santa for being sweet, hearted man.

I know your broke because of the economy. Don’t worry I got some bucks for you don’t waste it.

This Christmas I would like for my brothers to come. He is in boot camp in Missouri. Also my sister to come down and spend time since we haven’t seen them in a long time.

I was really good thes year. I wont for Christmas is learn how to draw books to make my brother mad.

I have been bad but I have inproved. You can sleep on the couch and you can use one of my pillows. I will leave you a cup of mile and cookies.

I have been good because my nina has cancer. I give my dog a home from the pound. I help my mom clean. I will like my nina well because my mom is sad. Thank you for looking out for me. Thank you Santa have a safe trip.

I’ve been on my best behavior all year long, I only want to write you because you write me. I want to thank you for that jolly feeling I get when Christmas is here. I don’t want presents. I want family around. That’s what I ask you.

I have been helpful with people I am carin for little and big kids everywhere. I washed a wall that had a big kid wrote cuse words and bad works. Since I have been responsible I would be so thankful if I got a phone and my dad to come back for Christmas cause I miss him a lot. Thank you for getting me everything I wanted that’s while I will aways beive in you. Have a safe trip.

I’v been naughty. I am fun, loveable and intellageent. I am nice and sometimes not. I would like my uncle to come home safe I want it cause he is family and I love him. Have a safe trip. P.O. Is Roudouf real?

How are you? How is your wife? I made a special key for you to get in because I don’t have a chimney. It’s o.k. if you don’t want to answer this but how do you find the elfs?

Suddenly, I feel much better about Christmas this year.

NOW AT THE TWILIGHT OF LIFE

I am now approaching the end. It's been 54 years of:

- Moving 29 times
- Occupying various households with 32 (36?) different people
- Probably 26 years of eating nothing but Taco Bell, McDonald's and KFC
- Residing in eight states (of the U.S., not states of mind - then there were be many more than eight, wouldn't there?)
- Working 34 different jobs, at 29 places
- Living in two countries (although some people would argue that California and Hawaii are their own independent nations)
- Being personally responsible for Nestles staying in business by my chocolate consumption
- Promoting peaceful resolutions in multiple tense situations by either bursting into tears or hiding in the closet
- Using 1,932 lbs. printer toner in printing affirmations, sayings, quotes and personal posters to keep me from staying huddled below my sheets every day

And today I realized I own every single thing that I ever wanted.

I have two horses. I have 87 funky little magnets. I have every file folder that has ever been created. I own two PCs, and four laptops (none of which work right now, by the way). I have 32 years worth of journals, diaries, and scraps of paper with bad poetry and/or lyrics for my descendants to plow through (sorry, kids). I have two absolutely incredible grandchildren who are the brightest, greatest and most wonderful individuals to grace this planet.

However, is any of this going to keep me from visiting Target tomorrow afternoon?

Whomever dies with the most toys, still dies -- but yes, more playthings are going to come my way before I kick the bucket.