AN EMPTY HOUSE

Many empty-nesters moan and groan about how lonely & empty their homes seem when the last child moves out.

When my youngest moved out (finally), I cheered and celebrated (TWO extra bottles of Diet Coke and a sandwich from Quizno's).

It left only one male creature to pick up after... let me clarify that, one HUMAN male to pick up after.

I still have the dog, horse and cat, but they take care of their books, usually don't leave laundry half-done, and rarely leave any dishes unlicked.

The dogs are always more than willing to warn me of dangers such as the UPS man (somehow the FedEx guy is perfectly okay), the garbage truck, and rabbits grazing in the back yard.

But today, both of the dogs are at the vet's getting their teeth cleaning.

It's oddly quiet.

And I'm not at all certain that I like it.


I guess I am now slightly sympathetic to those people who do moan about their kids leaving.

I miss 'em.

THE MAGIC OF THE INTERNET

A package left my house yesterday morning, went through Tucson, then Memphis (Memphis? Why Memphis? To pick up above-average barbecue sauce? Is there any other reason to go to Memphis?), then Honolulu... and THEN this trip got interesting.

At the Honolulu International Airport (which actually is, despite many rumors to the contrary, an airport in American), our package, now disguised as a See's candy pack, was stopped by the ADS Sugar-Police, and was patted down in the continuing effort by the American Diabetes Society to lower the sugar intake on an island whose main export is pineapple, sugar cane and sunburned tourists.

Seizing a momentary hesitation on the guards part (while he was musing "do I begin with the carmels or the mint chocolate first?"), our package ducked under the roped border of the search area and leap onto a passing wheeled-suitcase in the confusion.

Which resulted in our package being delivered to the North Shore of Oahu. Determined to make it to the correct destination before the 3 p.m.deadline, the package underwent another costume change and became a Papa Johns Pizza (knowing that the recipient would refuse delivery of Pizza Hut pizza and counting on the 30 minute delivery guarantee)., and was left on the correct doorstep at 2:15 p.m.

Story told. And amazing to me that this was READ.