THE SMELL OF COOKIES IN THE OVEN

I've felt so incredibly sorry for the people in the Midwest and East Coast that have been suffering from this most recent heat wave.

Temperatures have been in the "triple-digits" - which, by the way, is one of my favorite television weather-person expressions.

My mind immediately goes to somewhere around the 300's, so it gets my attention... which is exactly what they want, right?

And to me it is totally insane that people actually get PAID to say things like "the probability of precipitation is the likelihood of measurable precipitation for this forecasted time, and occurring at any point for which the forecast is valid."

Wow.

Okay, where were we? Oh, yeah, the heat wave.

There are heat warnings in Arizona, of course, but we expect those. It was 102 degrees F here yesterday - but hey, we're in Arizona, so....

But THIS AFTERNOON, a nice little thunderstorm blew in, poured a few buckets of rain over us, and cooled off the area nicely.

Right now it is 72.3 degrees - I may get my sweatshirt out.

And I have to provide some cookies for a funeral on Saturday - I am jumping on the chance to have the oven on and still remain inside the house!

BUDDHA VS JESUS

To say that I "frequent" Target stores is like saying that the character Kurt on Glee is "a touch" effeminate - that Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck are "perhaps" conservative in their politics - Lady Gaga is "a slightly" unique singer - and Beyonce's "Single Ladies" video is "a bit foot-tapping."

Today at Target I found these Buddha magnets in the dollar aisle. And I immediately thought...

 The Buddha would laugh about this.

And I think most all Buddhist would laugh too.

But if Target was selling similar magnets but of Jesus Christ...

Well, personally, I think that Jesus would laugh about it.

But I'm afraid that there are a whole lot of Christians out there would picket, boycott and trash-talk Target.

Hmm.  Just doesn't seem Christian, does it?

TWO SHOOTING STARS

We all have our list of 'woes.'

It may be a lost love, like the boy you kissed in kindergarten (or maybe worse, like the principal) - a physical problem, like hemorrhoids (I don't think you can get worse than that) - family dysfunctions (which simply means you are like every single other family in America).

But there are late nights that we may weep a little weep, feel more than a little sorry for ourselves.

I always try the "count my many blessings" routine, which usually helps (all I have to do is think of Dick Cheney or Mississippi and WHEW, I'm doing GREAT), but tonight I was for some odd reason mentally listing all my physical defects.

Well, maybe it wasn't that strange - I was standing outside, trying vainly to hear where the greyhound was home (I'm half deaf) while rubbing my deaf ear (for some reason the "crest of helix " area keeps falling asleep) and seeing the white flashes from my glaucoma especially well in the dark, feeling the arthritis especially in my shoulders from the monsoon season and worrying about my mind going from early Alzheimer's.

 

And then I saw two shooting stars - one right after the other.

Suddenly I wasn't feeling at all sorry for myself.

LEFT-HANDED VINES

Vines covering a house immediately bestow a sense of stateliness, accompanied by the obligatory murder/ suicide chilling tale, with beautiful antique blue willow plates displayed on the walls (have not idea at all what connection they have with the murders, but they seem to always be there).

Or perhaps it's just the blend of Mother Nature and human nesting, intertwined, bringing something earthy into the bricks and glass.

But it is always beautiful.

So when an actual vine began to grow up the side of our house, I was got overly excited.

I mean, I live in Arizona - you don't see houses covered with greenery unless the house is owned by grotesque water-abusers that will waste our previous resources throwing life-giving moisture away to promote purely decorative frivolous....

Sorry, my desert mind kicked in just then.

The vine I got excited about, however, is a true Arizona vine.

Skimpy.

And will be completely dried up and crumpled into dust in the next week when our little monsoon is over and our beautiful sun reigns supreme again.

Sigh.

Now the left-handed part.

I have complained for years about being whatever the opposite of ambidextrous is - I have trouble using EITHER hand, but ESPECIALLY my left-hand. I am so predominately right-handed that the only thing that comes to mind where I use my left-hand as well as my right is in typing.

In addition, the right-side of my brain is the damaged one - and since that (in theory, at least) is the side that controls your left side, it makes sense.

So this week I decided to do something about it.

I'm writing left-handed.

Yes, it looks like a child's scrawl at it's very best, but that just means it can't get any worse, right? 

THE SECOND PLAGUE ONCE AGAIN

I kinda like the fact that the plagues of Egypt that helped free the Israelites can be explained scientifically.

It's like evolution - I don't think that it and creation are mutually exclusive. God used natural resources, because, hey, He made them too, right?

A fresh water toxic alga, when it dies, it stains the water red. It would have forced the frogs to leave the water, which would have meant that mosquitoes, flies and other insects would have flourished, leading to diseased livestock and boils, with more diseases being passed on to the human population.

And a volcanic eruption could have triggered the hail, locusts coming to Egypt, plus blocking the sunlight causing the stories of a plague of darkness.

But, to quote Dr Robert Miller, associate professor of the Old Testament, from the Catholic University of America, "I'm reluctant to come up with natural causes for all of the plagues. The problem with the naturalistic explanations is that they lose the whole point. And the whole point was that you didn't come out of Egypt by natural causes, you came out by the hand of God."

Isn't that cool?

But back to the second plague - the one with frogs.

I live as far as you can live in Arizona without falling into Mexico - less than three miles from my front door.

But the nice Mexico - San Pedro mountains and valley and open land - no border towns, no squalor, no pottery or rugs being sold.

Well, a whole lot of illegal immigrants and drug smugglers also - so don't ask me about SB 1070 unless you want an extremely long winded answer (yeah, it's why the politicians don't really every come this far south).

But we may have rattlesnakes, jackrabbits, quail and a WHOLE lot of coyotes (both animal and human, I'm afraid). We have hummingbirds - millions of bats spend their winters here - the odd bear shows up now and then.


But we don't have things that need open, year-round accessible water sources... like frogs.

Even desert frogs here only live in certain areas - we don't have anything like that around here.

Until it rains.

Like the last couple of days.

And then we have THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of frogs that spring forth from some underground caverns where they have been buried in alien hibernating cocoons to survive the radioactive wards...

Well, they come from SOMEPLACE, immediately beginning crying for an extremely quick hook-up so they can produce baby frogs to come forth in the next monsoon - think of micro-second speed-dating for amphibians - but they don't even SOUND like frogs, they sound like some tiny kitty bawling for momma.

So I can every evening now just PRAYING - come on, can we move on to some OTHER plague now? PLEASE?!

MEN ARE NOT FROM MARS...

... but from a galaxy far far away.

I think women are planners, organizers, list-makers, but not from some deep-rooted and natural maternal instinct.

It is because we are regularly thrown into chaotic relationships with the opposite and distant sex, saddled with 99.99% of the household responsibility, children raising and discipline, feeding and choices in everything from nylons to nappies to nutmeg.

And if we didn't shape it into some remotely reasonable shape, we would go quickly and quietly mad.

Or, in some cases, perhaps not so quietly.

Tonight was another superb example of men having the advance responsibility for a church activity - on the calendar for weeks - discussed at umpteen meetings - for a large, loud and energized group of 50+ teenagers.

And the adult men leaders still at the last minute haphazardly slopped together an activity, and slip slided away with major deviations and course corrections in route, even to the point of sending someone away to purchase refreshments before the activity ended.

While the group of women I am a part of, with the exact same responsibilities every other month, already have these sessions planned for the rest of 2010, to include activities, methods, assigned responsibilities, hand-outs and any snacks budgeted, planned and purchased well ahead of time.

This evening did go well - we moved outside because of the sweltering heat in our church building - the activity involved a lot of moving and shouting, although the original concept (something involving throwing marshmallows) was vetoed.

And it succeeded admirably in the our ultimate goal of providing a safe, welcoming environment for our church teenagers to interact and learn gospel principles together.

Darn it.

HORSES CAN BE DANGEROUS AT BOTH ENDS

I love both my horses dearly.

But they are complete opposites in everything.

When something startles us while on a walk, Sally will stand firm and tall, stare grimly in the distance at whatever might be the threat, and trusts me completely and utterly to fight it off.

While Najale, of course, will immediately rear up into the air, waving his huge hooves right at my head while wildly whinnying - and then flees at a full gallop for the farthest and/or opposite horizon, dragging me along.

Some nights I take the horses out by myself. Tonight my husband was especially tired, and the rains have provided actual grass for the horses to graze on, so I felt a sense of obligation.

And guess what?

About a half mile from the house, something startled all three of us.

My arms are now a good 18 inches longer than they were before we went for a walk this evening - I feel like an ape with my knuckles dragging on the ground.