HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY

My husband and I just celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary yesterday - apart, as usual.

It's difficult today to even imagine that tall and skinny couple we were, although I have the photos to prove it... and Photoshop wasn't even invented back then.


Living in college married housing.

Driving across country with a Vega and a trailer with all of our household belongings in it.

Surviving on an enlisted military salary - being eligible for welfare at the same time you are in the Army now.

Flying to Europe pregnant and with a 16 month old toddler.

Living in British military quarters - nothing is designed for anyone over 5'3" - and holding all leadership positions in a brand-new English-speaking branch.

Moving  from Europe to Hawaii, and living there for six years - the last year completely separated geographically from each other.

Ten years in Maryland - another seven years apart 80% of the time, including the first Gulf War. Retirement from the military and right into the civilian government positions.

Move to Arizona for another job and Hope's health.

I wonder what will happen over the next 32 years... and I have to admit, I hope ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!

WHERE DO THE CHILDREN PLAY

Playing with a three-year old most of the day is opening up all sorts of diplomatic options to me. Any chance we can get the nations in the world to abide by these?


- You can make up the rules as you go along, but then you can change them immediately when they no longer make any sense or are not helping the game.


- No one ever loses - or perhaps it is better stated that everyone is on the winning side.


- And if someone looks like they are losing (particularly if it is you), you can change sides at any time.

When I'm with Kate, it's close to impossible to imagine car bombs, wars, and airport scanners. I know there is a huge difference between innocent and naive, but the unwary trust is incredibly refreshing, especially after living at home with the world's most negative person.

And when she does get mad, she blows up, freaks out, yells and screams... and then is completely over it.

Does anyone else remember this song by Cat Stevens (or Yusuf Islam, as he is now known)?

Just seems like these are the real important questions - not my-god-is-better-than-your-god.

QUESTIONING THE QUESTIONS

1. Why is salmon spelled with an "l"? I've heard the 'silent e' since I was little, but when did the l become silent?

2. How come almost every editorial I read that is all over Arizona for our latest illegal immigration bill is written by someone in Wisconsin or Tennessee?

3. And does any body outside of the southwest realize how HUGE the border between Mexico and the United States is? Like miles and miles and miles and miles of simply open LAND. So the concept of 'closing the border' isn't like shutting the gate to keep the cows in.

4. Why do the British drive on the left side of the road? Does it really have anything to do with swords, or is it just the British like being different? And in Great Brittan, do they call driving on the right side of the road driving the "wrong" way?

5. Does your dog have an unusual name? Why do we end up naming our animals 'human' type names? Is it part of our anthropomorphic tendencies? And is there a better name for it instead of anthropomorphism? I always have to look up how to spell it.

6. When we use the expression "no facial hair," why aren't eyebrows part of it?


7. Why are the numbers on a calculation and a phone are exactly opposite?

8.  If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons to me.

Okay, thanks, I have it out of my system now.

GROWING UP AS A POOR BLACK CHILD

One advantage of being military is seeing the world at government expense.

Some people view this as a deterrent - living where people don't (gasp) speak English, where the value of your money changes daily, and customs/ holidays/foods are NOT North American.

I'd rather jump in and accept "their" ways; after all, aren't we the guests here? If you are invited to an Italian dinner, and demand baked beans, you're being more than a little bit rude. If you refuse to accept or even LEARN the rules of etiquette, you obviously need them more than anyone. And if the public concept of art/modestly/laws/personal hygiene are not what you grew up with, throwing dirty looks at everyone is not gonna make any kind of change, and just reinforces that Americans are arrogant.

And a lot of us ARE.

My kids were born in Manhattan (Kansas, not New York), Dusseldorf and Frankfort A.M., West Germany (back when there were two Germany's). All three began school in Honolulu (a melting pot of Asians) and graduated in Maryland (black majority). So much of their life they were the haole (literally 'foriegner' in Hawaii, although its come to mean 'white'), the kids with the odd shaped eyes and hair color, the white kids.

I had the opportunity of not finding a job easily because I was Caucasian - I'd be called in for an interview, look around the office, realize mine was the only white one skin in sight, and knew I wouldn't be hired.

So I get a little miffed when someone puts on their ethnicity. On the airplane, I sat next to a lovely couple - but they managed to communicate within the first minutes that I was the enemy.

And just because the color of my skin.

Children, can't we all live together as one?

A LITTLE RED-HAIRED BOY

I admit to checking out the people boarding the same airplane as myself.

I mean, if we crash in the middle of the Pacific and end up spending six years on a beautiful tropical island that amazingly resembles the North Shore of Oahu, I would like to know in advance who the Sawyers and Lockes of the groups are - as well as getting on Sayid and Jack's good side - and how to eliminate Benjamin Linus right away.

No, seriously, I just look at people and just randomly wonder if the 395 lb. guy is going to be sitting next to me - what way I could offer my sole talent of putting babies to sleep to the mom traveling with a newborn without coming across as a kidnapper-weirdo - if there is ANY way the Australian couple with the lovely lovely accents can be directly behind me on my left side (my hearing side) - and how could so many of these people afford to sit in first-class and I can't?!

 

I go through the normal frustration of being rushed onto the plane so we can leave on-time but then be forced to stand in the cramped aisle while waiting for everyone in front of you load tons of stuff into the overhead, make certain they have a pillow and blanket, and ask the airline attendant (who is frantically trying to get all passengers situated before the plane actually takes off) each and every question that they will cover in their little 'pre-flight' lecture that most of us have memorized from being on multiple flights.

When we finally got seated, a little red-haired boy in the row ahead of me turned around and asked me loudly what my name was, told me his name was Brent, and proceeded to throw his hands high in the air as the plane began lift-over over the ocean.

Brent was true entertainment the entire six hours - he was continually grinning from ear-to-ear, he was always interested in something, he played his GameBoy for hours without any help, and only occasionally (about every five minutes) yelling hello to his mom and dad, who sat across the aisle.

I wouldn't have picked Brent out of the waiting crowd as the person who helped this be one of the happiest flights I have ever been on.

Thanks, Brent.

SHOULDER TO SHOULDER WITH MY BROTHER

Yesterday I was surrounded by people for 16 hours.

Not just people around me, or at the same event of meeting - I mean besieged on every side, encircled by strangers (or, as I see it, friends I haven't met yet) to the point where my personal air space was constantly and continually being violated in a fashion that would have drove most people to hand sanitizer, running shrieking out the terminal, or Valium.

Yes, you are correct, sir - I was flying.

At airports, the polite waiting-in-line-at-the--bank line is suddenly compacted by a factor of 9. As drivers do, the shuffle-up-the-moment-the-light-just-MIGHT-be-thinking about turning-green-again forces you to stand with your nose on the shoulder of the person in front of you, while your carry-on bag is constantly pushed forward by the person behind you.

I tried to maintain what for me was a proper and respectful distant distance while in line, but shortly succumbed to the directed glares and significant grunts of those convinced that the additional 2 cm. move would make a SUPREME difference in getting to the luggage scanning machine.

That same frantic sense of go-go-go-go compels everyone to almost-run pace, dodge in and out of traffic exactly like the red convertible that simply has to get ahead of you until he is stopped at the red light right next to you.

I'm not old and/or grey enough to garner the respect for the elderly, but I am forced to walk at a slow pace because of my breathing problems. And much like the 'classic' Toyota from the eighties, you can stomp on that gas pedal as much as you want, but it ain't gonna get you into the fast lane.

The entire experience would be out of the question for your normal germaphobic, claustrophobic or any social disorder person.

I may soon begin putting my name in those actual categories. Mr. Monk and Howie Mandel, say hello to your new best friend.

ANOTHER PUSH FOR VEGETARIANISM

It's fun to be the target of most of the national reporting shows - at least for a couple of days.

Arizona has 1) passed the strictest illegal immigration laws so far, but almost guarantees racial profiling (like, duh!), 2) approved carrying a concealed weapon without requiring a class or additional permit, and 3) Sue Lowden proposing health care reform via bartering chickens for medical care.

Oh, wait, that's Nevada, not Arizona.

But Arizona was the lead story on both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's shows tonight - and since I live three miles from the Mexican border, it's sorta fun to hear all about "Law and Border."

And the story on Colbert went on to show an actual chicken (and a parakeet and a rabbit and a goose) to poke fun at Lowden and the barter idea....

... and mentioned "cutting off just a drumstick for the co-pay", holding up a butcher knife.

AND THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE SHRIEKED, obviously ON THE CHICKEN'S SIDE.

Does the American public realize that Chicken McNuggets, KFC, and grilled chicken comes from LIVE ANIMALS?!

Please, again, can we talk about lowering cholesterol and food expenses and eating a WHOLE lot healthier by getting at least a tiny bit on the side of vegetarions, okay?