SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

I hate CNN. I especially hate Wolf Blitzer. Don't take it personally, Wolf, it's simply because you were the face constantly on the television screen during the 'first' Gulf War (which frighteningly brings up the thought, so will there be a 'third" Gulf War, a 'fourth' ...).

And, if anyone remembers back that far, we didn't quite know what we were getting into when Saddam Hussein decided he wanted the beach-front property advertised by Kuwait (something like that). No one had a crystal ball to show that it really would just be six days of actually suspense - everything after that was just clean-up. And no one could tell you if the rumors of Iraq having / using nuclear weapons and other BIG BANG type stuff were true or not - would there suddenly be a mushroom-cloud over the Middle East?

So Laurel and I, whose husbands were partners over there in Saudi Arabia at the start, were GLUED to the CNN channel for those first six days. And more than a little nervous about what was gonna happen.

Wolf, really, you're okay, I just have this association of your face and major stomach upset. Maybe you should think about taking a second job doing Pepto Bismol commercials.

Okay, on with the story.

At my gym is the traditional line of television screens in front of all the treadmills, elliptical, stair-masters, etc. so at the same time you are burning calories, you can also destroy brain cells. Normally you get to watch ESPN, soap operas, and sometimes TV Land's Leave It To Beaver.

But today? CNN. And not just regular CNN, but live, at-the-moment video coverage of somewhere-in-Kentucky in-a-college-building someone-seems-to-be-shooting-a-weapon. "We are here, the campus is in lock-down, and we are talking to *#^#$)%, a student, who's room-mate's fellow cafeteria worker's sister actually HEARD shots being fired in *#&$&*% Hall."

Okay, I have a son in college. It's not Kentucky, and I'm pretty certain that his college was not in lock-down at the moment, but I do NOT want to watch this morbid we-will-be-right-here-when-they-begin-to-begin-to-bring-the-bodies-out.

So I got the remote control, asked permission of the two other gym members who had any possible view of this particular television screen, and changed the station to something with Julia Roberts.

Only to discover that Julia Roberts was starring in "Sleeping With The Enemy." Which to me, is a REALLY creepy movie.

She plays a wife who has her life being completely controlled by her obsessive-abusive husband. She fakes drowning, runs away, and begins a new life in some wonderful home-town in Iowa (imagine town designed by someone from Pacific Palisades, and a unemployed run-away single female being able to rent a huge, beautiful farm house right on Main Street - not incredibly realistic, but very pretty, of course).

And of course meanie Mr. Husband discovers her discarded wedding ring, tracks her down, and tried to kill everyone in the state of Iowa (well, almost).

I exercise for my health, and to de-stress (though arguably at this moment I have the least possible amount of stress of life EVER in my entire life). I don't need to be reminded living with threats of bodily harm to those I love. unless I 'cooperated.'

I left, showered, and went and spent all my spare change at Staples on pretty individual magnets, brightly colored Post-It notes, and my favorite type of pen.

Therapy completed.

HOT AND COLD

I am a complete wimp about any temperature lower than 82 degrees Fahrenheit. I am a Southern Californian by birth, a Hawaiian by adoption, and a big, big baby about dealing with any type of weather that might be perceived as cold. I like snow, fall can be beautiful, but I just want to watch it from the window of a nice warm house while I am wrapped in a quilt, sitting on the sofa, drinking hot chocolate (and watching a good movie).


If I could deal with winter, we'd be living in Montana or Wyoming, the two most beautiful states I know of... that are affordable (sorry, Oahu).

So somebody please help me understand something. Tonight is supposed to get down in the 40's. I admit that is a little bit cold. But it ain't gonna freeze, it's clear and dry.

And in direct in response to high propane costs, I am now very much of the opinion to simply dress warmer, put another blanket on the bed, and just DEAL with it.

Now it's my HUSBAND who is nagging me about putting on the heat. This is the same guy that used to leave our bedroom window open in the winter "to get some air' - and I would wake up to SNOW on our bed. This is the proud Oregonian who bragged about walking to school, through snow drifts, with just a light jacket. This is the man who complains BITTERLY about how hot it gets here in the daytime.

Geesch.

INSOMNIA

I know Harmony is dealing with this on a MUCH larger scale than I am. I mean, she has trouble sleeping, but she has two young, EXTREMELY active children at home. I only have two dogs that love sleeping as much as I do and two horses that only whinny when it approaches their feeding time (the cat is, by definition, sleep personified).

But I missed my nap today. I spent sixteen hours today with an emotional black hole... well, maybe it was only an hour and a half, but it FELT like 16 hours, and that wears me out. I pushed myself at the gym, both with aerobic and weights, and when I finally got home, I was BUSHED.

So, of course, a van drove up to the house, the dogs went crazy barking, and that was the end of any quiet time for me.

However, one of the few nice (?) things about being exhausted, is that sometimes that second wind is actually a THIRD wind - and you're awake very late at night writing in your blog.

HERE KITTY KITTY

I am responsible for five animals - make that six, if you count my husband. I mean, I exercise them (we just won't go there in detail), take them to the doctor when they are sick , listen to them when they want to complain (believe it or not, the horses especially need to vent... a lot), and I feed them.

So when I forget to feed them... well, they get hungry.

I normally don't go into the laundry room unless I am (duh) doing laundry. But I have a cat feeder that stores about a week's worth of cat food, so it usually works out. The water for the cat sits right next to the large freezer, and even if that runs dry, he can (and does) drink the dogs' water (he maintains that I obviously provide them with bottled water, while his is only tap water).

Pandora (that's the cat) is verbally extremely expressive, and is not subtle in any sense of the word. If he wants something, he gets it across to you REAL fast.

So I should have figured it out the other day when Pandora got incredibly cuddly that he had something else up his sleeve... or his fur, I guess, in this case. He snuggled and licked and purred... and he is NOT a purring cat. He does snuggle, but only on alternate Thursdays in months that begin with the letter "A."

When these polite, nice tactics obviously were not getting through my thick human skull, Pandora began a slightly more forceful approach - he began to bite me.

I don't take well to physical discomfort (although I do believe my pain threshold is pretty high - I mean, I've been married for over thirty years to the same man), so Pandora got chased off. And I kept an injured distant from him for the next 24 hours.

Then suddenly, he wasn't there. I mean, he wasn't ANYwhere there. He wasn't laying on 'his' table by the window, he wasn't on my bed, he wasn't under the other one of 'his' tables (the one the dogs can't get to), and he wasn't in the shower (one of his favorite spots - it's cool on the tile, and he has a VERY very thick coat of fur).

And when I did check in the laundry room to see if he was sulking in there, I noticed.... HE WAS OUT OF CAT FOOD. COMPLETELY.

Suddenly a whole host of past feline experiences came to mind. I have had several cats adopt me, only to find out later it was simply because I offered them better food than their home. And I seriously believe that the only cat that has deliberately 'left' me did for the same reason - I mean, someone offered a higher grade of cat kibble.

So I immediately was CERTAIN that Pandora has hit the road, stuck his... paw out, and was off to greener pastures... or at least available food. I also straight away was overcome with GUILT. I was an unworthy animal owner - I had STARVED my favorite cat and FORCED him to go away from HOME.

After searching our house one more time, I opted for a very last, desperate move.

I filled up his food bowl.

And then, of course, he instantaneously materialized at my feet.

Geesh.

MOON RISE

There are some wonderful things about having a poor memory. I can read a book I've read before - see a movie - have an entire conversation - and not be bored, because I don't remember reading/viewing/talking it before.

So when I say I have never seen a moon rise, I must qualify that I do not remember actually seeing the moon rise before this evening.

I have seen the sun rise - in fact, a lot, because that's about the time I feed the horses. And I've seen the sun set, and even have seen the green flash (sorry, Blake).

And I have seen the moon set a number of times, because if it's anywhere near setting, I will stay up, sitting on the porch, and let my dog roam for however long it takes to set behind the Huachuca Mountains. There's a moment right at the end where the trees along the top are silhouetted by the moon behind them - and it's just awesome.

So tonight I was spoiling Najale and Sally, as I do every evening, with a handfull of carrots (also a training technique; Najale doesn't get a single bite until he allows, politely, no less, Sally to come up to the gate and get the first carrot - he does it, very begrudgingly, but he does do it).

It's also a wonderful opportunity for me to test my night-blindness level. I live out in the country - with light pollution laws (that expression bothered the hell out of me until it became a factor in my life), no street lights, no city lights (except on the north horizon) and an incredible view of the stars every night - even when there is a full moon.

So when I walk out when it's dark... it is DARK. Makes me much more aware of the moon cycles, because it's much easier when there is some moon light. Otherwise, I am trusting my dog to walk the correct way to the gate, and following him.

And just happened to notice that the horizon was getting lighter and lighter - and I stood there (and annoyed the heck out of the horses, since I temporarily held back the carrots) and actually saw the moon rise.

Wow.

SELF-PORTRAIT

Harmony offered a challenge via her blog to post a photograph of ourselves.

That, of course, brought on this tirade rather than a photograph:

ATTENTION: I am SO SORRY that we ALL have been duped (myself included) into believing that unless we are an anorexic and/or bulimic fashion model, (6'1", 105 lbs.), we are not beautiful.

Women, we are beautiful at 185 lbs. (me, yesterday on the scale at the gym) and when the dimension-limited camera lens makes us look wider than we actually are (and much wider than we actually want to BE), we need to accept that, celebrate it, and DEAL with it in a positive manner.

That being said, I will post my own photo on my website… someday.

And now I feel honor-bound to actually DO it.

What? So it's just my BACK?! Come on, one step at a time.

A MAJOR STEP FORWARD

This was lately brought to my attention - do you realize that regards of WHO wins this presidential election (well, I mean, unless there is a major write-in campaign for Mickey Mouse)....

... WE WILL HAVE A LEFT-HANDED PRESIDENT.

And although I have a soft place in my heart for lefties, it was disconcerting to learn which other presidents have been left-handed (Ronald Reagan was left-handed - why does that bother me so much?).

But I am CERTAIN that THIS time, more civil rights will be granted to LEFTIES.

Let me know if you agree.