AN APOLOGIZE TO ALL BLUE-COLLAR WORKERS

I plead guilty, guilty, guilty of stereotyping delivery/moving individuals, and throw myself on the mercy of the court. I prejudicially predicted that two large apes would stumble into my house delivering my bed, and instead met two intelligent college-educated men, one a professional musician, who competently maneuvered an over-sized moving van into my narrow gateway, removed my old bed, carefully placed my new one exactly where I wanted it, and were extremely gracious about receiving a, at least in my eyes, rather small tip (all I had on me was a $5 bill).

And while looking for photos of fat, sweating moving men, I found these - not related at ALL, but what fun!

AH, NOW I REMEMBER...

... why I have kept that California-King-Size-Water-Bed all these years.... BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A PAIN TO TAKE DOWN/UNLOAD/EMPTY.

I have discovered four separate & distinct civilizations that has risen and fallen under this bed. Two new animal species have been documented by the Bureau of Wild Animal Preservation, while a certain weed unearthed may cause egg damage to the Upper Basin San Pedro Wokee Wokee bird but only when ingested with more than 1 liter of Diet Mt. Dew.

The water level in the aforementioned Upper Basin San Pedro River system has risen .000078% through the emptying of ten water tubes.

An appropriate space of 2.34 acres is now available in my bedroom for exercise equipment, piles of dirty laundry that needs to be sorted, and two dogs to sleep on. However, that appropriate space of 2.34 acres has also been LOST for hiding old books, blankets my mother-in-law has knitted and crocheted and I cannot throw away, and the aforementioned wildlife and emerging civilizations to grow and develop.


I now await the arrival of two large, sweating males to upset both my dogs, take away the large bed, and set up my new tiny little nesting bed. In the process, I will lose 95% of the cool air-conditioned atmosphere inside, inherit 43 flies, two bees, and three tiny lizards, and have a second mess to cleanup when the certain-to-be dirty boots leave my abode.


A follow-up report will be posted this evening.

WHY DO TODAY SOMETHING YOU CAN PUT OFF UNTIL TOMORROW.... OR LATER?

WHY DO TODAY WHAT YOU CAN PUT OFF UNTIL TOMORROW?

BISBEE POLICE BEAT

My hand before God, I am NOT making any of this up.

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May 30 11:41 pm - A disorderly man was reported at the Stock Exchange bar. He was asked by an officer to leave, and he complied.

May 31 10:23 PM - A resident in the 100 block of Star Avenue reported his neighbor was shooting at him. The man, 54, was arrested for discharging a firearm at an occupied structure.

June 1 3:24 pm - A resident in the 300 block of Pirrung reported that someone has been turning off the water to his cooler outside during the night.

7:53 pm - Donkeys were reported on Highway 80 near Bisbee Blue, creating a hazard in the dark.

June 2 9:25 am - While a resident in the 100 block of OK Street was out of town, someone broke a bird feeder and a hummingbird feeder in the yard. An extra patrol was requested.

June 3 3:06 pm - A vehicle was stopped on Highway 80 near mile post 341, and five people bailed out of the vehicle. Two illegal immigrants remaining in the vehicle were turned over to the U.S. Border Patrol. The vehicle was impounded.

June 4 12:11 am - A U.S. Border Patrol agent from the Naco Station reported seeing a black bear in the road near the Traffic Circle. Officers and agents chased the bear, estimated to weight 300 pounds, from Bisbee Road behind Mason Addition to the area behind Bisbee High School. The bear was last seen running south.

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I love living here.

PLUSES AND MINUSES

- It was 101 degrees here today
- I have a coyote who has decided that since I have an overabundance of rabbits (the understatement of the century) he is going to move in permanently
- I live at an altitude of almost 5,000 ft above sea level
- I also live three miles from the Mexican border in an area that has the majority of illegal border crossings for our state.

And those are just the pluses!

Seriously, after driving up and through Tucson today, I am SOOOOOO glad that I live way out here on my little patch of not-much.

And that I have air-conditioning.

DRUG ABUSE AND STINK BUGS

Drug abuse: The use of a drug for a purpose other than that for which it is normally prescribed or recommended.

Every evening, I let a wave of irritation wash over me whenever my husband pops his head out of the bedroom after he has taken his sleeping pill, wanting either another Mt. Dew (yes, honey, drink caffeine as you are trying to go to sleep) or chat (that pill lowers ALL inhibitions).

But this afternoon, after almost two solid days of being unable to keep my eyes open for more than a half-hour, and the same amount of time with a MONSTER head-ache, I took two Excedrin Migraine pills... FOR THE CAFFEINE.

If I was Catholic, I'd make myself go to confession tonight.

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Last night I had a stand-off with a stink bug, and it won the battle. Size was the determining factor - not MY size, but HIS. Little itty bitty bugs are fairly easy to classify as simply an airborne irritation - but black, solid, and oddly slow-moving insects the size of my palm somehow warrant some sort of respect.

When the bug was discovered slowly pacing the floor of my bathroom, I did the only thing I could humanely do - shut the door, called up Harmony to ask her advice about it, and allowed the bug enough time to escape.

I like to think of myself as humane rather than chicken.