LET A FOOL HOLD HIS TONGUE AND HE WILL PASS FOR A SAGE

I bit my tongue this morning.

To "bite your tongue" has become an expression, used you might say something that would hurt or be offensive to someone, but instead remain quiet or murmur a courteous platitude instead.

But when you actually bite down on your tongue, the pain is... well, exquisite.

I can understand why - the tongue is a highly sensitive organ, holding many many nerve endings.

But God, why did you place it so close to my TEETH?!

KICKING YOU IN THE TEETH

My daughter just told me she's gonna have to pull her little boy's tooth out tonight - it is literally hanging by a bit of skin.

Why are teeth always a problem?

I mean, most of us are born gum-less, and really, we could survive like that. At least with a blender in the house.

But teeth grow in, normally PAINFULLY and slowly.

We have to learn to brush and floss them.

Then just when we are dealing with pubescent bodies and hormones, our parents pay thousands of dollars to have metal slapped on our teeth and tightened every month for a couple of years, keeping us in pain constantly by the constriction and the continual griping by our parents of the cost.

So finally, teeth straight, into adulthood, keep brushing and flossing.

But now instead of cavities, things like gingivitis, receding gums and teeth recrossing begin.

And so instead of coming in, the same teeth you grew, corrected, brushed and whitened - well, then begin to come out.

So Colin - you and I are in the same boat... for at least the moment.

DENTOPHOBIA WITH TRYPANOPHOBIA

Phobias are, by definition, irrational.

I have acrophbia (fear of heights), and pteridophobia (fear of ferns), and hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia(fear of long words), (and yes, I am kidding about the last two).

Again, they don't have to be reasonable in any way, shape of form, but often originate from a bad experience with the thing that becomes the phobia (I'm certain that can be stated better, but I'm in a hurry tonight - it's getting late).

I think it's interesting that a lot of phobias seem to be hereditary - genetic, or simply learned?

But back to the story.

My husband suffers from dentophobia - fear of dentists - from a bad experience with one when he was little (stupid DDS or DMD or BDent or more likely some "Medical Degree By Mail") who slapped him).

So... maybe it really isn't a phobia

And for years, he has been literally letting his teeth rot away.

It finally got painful enough (three broken molars and 80 lbs. lighten... hmm... this could possible be marketed as another diet plan... see my other blog later tonight....) that he agreed to see a dentist.

Who then referred him quickly to an oral surgeon.

Who then scheduled the removal of the tooth in the worse shape on (wait for it) THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING.

I mean, really.