GRAVITY WORKS, PART TWO

My daughter introduced me to many decorating concepts. Such as using colors which are not complete opposites on the color wheel. Curtains. Throwing away Tupperware containers from 80's.

And cool glass jars from Target.

They do look great on the counter - and make it much easier to remember how much chocolate I have on hand (a critical matter in my life).

But I have also noticed that the level of whatever is in the jar gradually lowers as time goes by.

Both the dogs and the cat have been put through lie-detector tests, and have proven their innocence - although the missing amounts could probably be explained away by cockroaches, if I would allow myself to consider having cockroaches in my house (I will, however, freely acknowledge the huge gopher snake, as well as droves of field mice who have eluded the cat).

So I must blame it on gravity.

Which allows for a complete leap of faith to explain one other matter:

This must be why weight continues to gather right around my midsection - it's gravity, that's all.

So, how many of you are with me on this? And if not, why?

GRAVITY SUCKS

A child accepts what is taught without questioning.

There is no 'background' to bounce concepts off of - you are just learning this stuff for the first time, right?

So if you are taught that Russia was first established by the Eurasian wild boar (Sus scrofa), that's what you believe - at least until you get old enough to discover Wikipedia which is there to verify almost every truth (     ).

If the god of your fathers wears a feathered boa and long earrings, then that is your image of god... again, until the Christians get hold of you in college.

When I was little, I was told that gravity was what held everything down to earth.

And then my friend Cindy told me it was actually some form of Silly Putty that held everything down.

Sometime around junior high (that's what they called middle-school back in the Dark Ages) the concept of boiling hot mantle right under the crust (which fit, because I always associated mantles with fireplaces) and the molten iron core (so how do they know it's iron? Was this a ploy just to keep the costs of metals stable?) all fit around gravity... somehow.

And then Gravity connects you with people you should know and should be talking to because they share your passions... wait that is Gravity, which advertises about "a mathematical representation of your interests that can be used as the basis for delivering a truly personalized experience on the web" (      ).

But real, scientific gravity (speaking of Wikipedia), which is consequences of gravitational zero point quantum fluctuations at Planck scale are considered in the QFTs by adopting an effective stochastic model for space-time (oh, yeah, this sounds so... SMART).

 

Now even THIS turns out not to be constant.

Some parts of earth have more gravity than others.

Next you are going to tell me that Thin Thighs in 30 Days doesn't really work.