TRYING TO FINISH PROJEC...

I don't finish things around the house.

I have rooms almost completely painted ... except for about three inches at the top and one big circle in the ceiling.

I have printed posters/affirmations, on top of the frames they are to go in... without being actually inside the frames.

This morning I finally pulled off the final sheet of lettering on the wall - two words that have been up there for over a month now.

Why do I do this?




What purpose does it serve?


I think I know why.

"Finished" projects mean, to a particular person that I know, that I am ready to move on.

"Completed" is immediately followed by "and I'm out the door."


"Final" somehow is always paired with "exit."


 It's difficult - hell, that's way too nice a word - it's AGONY to have someone who always will mentally add some tag onto anything you say or do.

"What a nice tie!" gets "but you suck!" tacked on.

"I love you!" is followed by "But I can't wait to leave you!"

So when the final picture is hung, when the last wall is painted, when the floor is finally cleared of all those loose ends, he only sees a slate wiped clear, and someone who is OBVIOUSLY leaving.

And I'm aware that it isn't just this - it could be something as putting on my shoes, walking out the door - heck, it might already be -- but somehow over the past 34 years, this has become ingrained in me, wedged in my soul, as a do-not-cross-this-line.

So guess what.

I am going to try very very hard this next three weeks to get some of these hanging-on projects actually FINISHED, CLEARED, DONE, FINITO.

Wish me luck.