STAYING ANGRY

Right now I am mad, and I want to stay mad.

A cautionary remark - taken as (of course) an attack - and thrown back in my face.




I feel angry, insulted and betrayed. Frustrated once again at being accused of having ulterior (i.e. EVIL) motives. Especially after spending the past three days caring for someone else.

I want to curl up in my bed, under all the covers, and just cry for a while.

But if I really want to remain furious, I have to hold tightly on to this incident - replay it in my mind, keep analyzing it, continue to stoke the fire.

And that's not the mature, Christian way to handle it.

I need to let it go - forget about it - forgive.

I just wish in the process I could learn not to repeat it again.

This is what mortality is all about, however; we have to keep relearning the lesson we need until we can keep it - and then the problem is no longer a problem.